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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28765782">Between Somewhere and Nowhere</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/praisemadamespellman/pseuds/praisemadamespellman'>praisemadamespellman</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018), Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018) RPF, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina - Sarah Rees Brennan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drama &amp; Romance, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Horror, LGBTQ Themes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:28:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28765782</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/praisemadamespellman/pseuds/praisemadamespellman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lilith has just killed Mary Wardwell but comes to regret having done so after she spends some time living her life and pulls her back from Limbo with some unforeseen consequences.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mary Wardwell | Madam Satan | Lilith/Original Mary Wardwell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>84</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>67</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 1: Limbo</h3><p>The fog was so thick Mary Wardwell thought she'd lost her glasses, her hands fumbled around in the dirt she seemed to be lying in until she realized they were still on her face. Blinking, the former Baxter High teacher made out willowy shadows breaking through the fog, reaching up to the sky, and determined she must be in the woods. Sitting up, Mary winced and reached up to touch the left side of her neck where a small wound throbbed as a lingering reminder of her murder.</p><p>"Scissors? Really? Of all the things to die from..." A blood curdling scream silenced her and Mary scrambled to her feet, spinning around in an attempt to find the source. Human-like figures dragged their feet and moaned, wandering just out of her reach. The dark haired woman took a few steps forward and was met with the sound of babies crying, their keening wails overwhelming her and forcing her palms to press against her ears in a desperate attempt to shut them out.</p><p>"Is this...Hell?!" Mary was certain it wasn't Heaven. Trying in vain to get away from the horrible sound, Mary walked swiftly in the opposite direction, moving towards the figures she could see beyond the fog.</p><p>"Hello?" When they didn't turn towards her, she picked up the pace and began to jog towards one. "Excuse me!"</p><p>As she came upon it, the figure turned and Mary shrank back in horror; its face was hollowed out as if vultures had feasted on its eyes and the cartilage of its nose, its lips had been torn away to reveal a ghastly smile full of rotting teeth. Stumbling backwards, Mary's heel caught on a tree root and she fell, quickly lifting her arms to shield herself from the horror she expected to descend upon her. When nothing happened, Mary opened one eye and was relieved to see the figure had disappeared into the darkness.</p><p>The fog rolled thickly along the forest floor and Mary was no longer able to see through it but the ominous sounds from beyond it spurred her forward. Crawling on her hands and knees, Mary found a hollowed out tree trunk and curled up inside it, pulling her knees to her chest and ducking her head between them, she fought to calm the panic rising in her chest. Wrapping her arms around her legs and pressing her palms together, Mary began to pray to her namesake; "Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord is with thee. Blessed are thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus."</p><p>A low menacing growl reverberated against the trunk and the vibration of a heavy footstep shook the ground, causing Mary to bite her tongue in fear, silencing herself. Tasting blood, Mary felt tears sliding down her cheeks as she pushed herself tighter against the tree trunk and continued to whisper Hail Mary as she felt the footsteps move away from her.</p><p>"Hail Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners...now and at the hour of our death. Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Pray for us sinners..." Muttering under her breath and rocking slightly, Mary tried to ignore the screams and infant cries that threatened to deafen her. Her prayers calmed her hammering heart and she was finally able to take a deep breath, the air filling her lungs gave her the courage to leave the tree trunk.</p><p>Mary walked aimlessly through the fog, looking for something she couldn't name - a way out, a sign from God, a clearer indication that maybe she was in Hell, some answers. Who was the woman who'd stabbed her? Was that what came of being a good Samaritan?? Mary began to feel lightheaded and paused to lean against a tree, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth just like her therapist had taught her, trying to ground herself.

As she executed her preferred grounding exercise, searching for five things she could see, her gaze travelled over a large, hulking form, much bigger than the listless bodies she'd seen previously. Unconsciously, she gasped and it spun around to face her.</p><p>With a cry, Mary started to run in the opposite direction. Stumbling along uneven terrain covered in fog, weaving in and out of the trees, Mary could hear the creature getting closer. The growling drowned out all other sounds and rose in volume until she believed there was no other fate than being devoured by whatever it was. Gasping, her lungs burning, Mary was just about to give up when she felt a hand grab hers and yank hard, pulling her down into a human-sized fox hole. Holding tight to the hand that held hers, Mary allowed herself to be led quickly down a labyrinth of tunnels, heading deeper and deeper into the Earth.</p><p>With no light, Mary was running entirely blind, dragging the fingers of her free hand against the wall of the tunnel to keep herself oriented. If she thought about how far underground she was, she would start to panic, so she stared into the darkness instead and imagined she was running through the universe towards an unknown galaxy. She always loved space. A high school teacher who preferred to spend her free time with her nose in a book,
Mary Wardwell wasn't particularly fit and she pulled slightly at the hand that guided her, "Slow down...please...."</p><p>"Yes, you're right. We should be fine now." The voice appeared to be human and its familiar cadence and warm feminine tones calmed Mary.<br/>
Squeezing the hand that guided her softly, Mary's voice sounded strange to her, "Wh...where are we?"</p><p>"We're in the tunnels beneath the surface. I dug these with my own two hands to hide from the Soul Eater. I have been here for a very long time, you see. Well, I don't actually know how long because time seems to be different here."</p><p>"I see...but where...is here?" Mary pressed.</p><p>The voice seemed a bit stunned, a hint at the trauma it had experienced over time. "Oh here? This...this is Limbo."</p><p>Mary wrapped her free hand around the hand of her saviour and squeezed warmly, as if her touch could erase the damage done. Her mind spun at the discovery that she was in Limbo. While she was grateful she didn't find herself in Hell, Mary couldn't help but feel slighted by a God that would deny her the keys to his Kingdom after dedicating her life to being his servant. The cold fingers squeezed back and then let go. Mary stopped short, instantly panicked. Stumbling forward with her hands outstretched, searching for the hand in the dark, she came up empty.</p><p>Falling to her knees, no longer able to contain herself, Mary began to sob loudly. The betrayal of her death and the arrival between somewhere and nowhere broke her heart so keenly it felt like shards of glass were floating around in her chest. The knowledge that the bruises on her knees from a lifetime of prayer were there in vain bent her body closer to the ground, her palm landing in the dirt as she struggled with that ache. As she processed her punishment, even breathing felt like penance burning her throat and settling in the pit of her stomach like bile. Why had God forsaken her? What had she done to deserve this lonely, terrifying in between? She'd been nothing but good. Pure. Virtuous. Unsullied. Mary was spiralling down into a darkness she hadn't felt for many years and yet, in one moment of uncertainty, there is was again.  </p><p>The hiss of a lit match interrupted her internal monologue and the light that followed blinded her. Wiping at the wetness on her cheeks, leaving behind smears of dirt, Mary tried to process what she was seeing. An angel stood before her, holding a candle, her golden hair like a halo around her cherubic face - was this her salvation? Reaching out to the vision, Mary was surprised to feel the same cool hand from the darkness curl around hers and help her to her feet.</p><p>"Oh." Mary frowned, feeling slighted by God once again.</p><p>"We will be safe here." The woman led Mary over to a hollowed out area where they could sit, "What's your name?"</p><p>"I'm Mary." Mary held the woman's sky blue gaze as her fingers anxiously toyed with the cross at her throat. "Mary Wardwell. And you?"</p><p>The blonde smiled sadly, "I am Diana Spellman."</p><h3>To Be Continued...</h3>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is Diana Spellman's back story, written by compiling what little we were told from CAOS plus some of what can be found about Diana and Edward from the comics and I was fortunate enough to have some very generous input from Annette Reilly herself (lucky me!).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 2: Diana Spellman</h3><p>“Spellman?” Mary frowned, wading her way through Death’s grip to the fractured pieces of her memory where that name sounded familiar. “Spell...man….Sabrina!”</p><p>Diana’s eyes widened and she reached out to grip Mary’s wrist tightly, “Sabrina...that’s my baby! They took her! Do you know where she is?” Diana’s grip tightened, crushing Mary’s bones.</p><p>“You’re hurting me.” Grimacing, Mary pulled her wrist away from the woman. “Sabrina is one of my students, she isn’t a baby.” </p><p>“She was my baby...and after her baptism….the witches took her. But Hilda knew...she knew Sabrina had been baptised. Why didn’t she stop them? And then Edward...he….” Diana began to tremble and her eyes glazed over, looking through Mary rather than at her, fractured memories overwhelming her. “...he took me there...to that place. That wicked, horrible place!”  </p><p>Trying to grasp what she was hearing, Mary caught the depth of sorrow in Diana’s gaze and felt a pang of empathy. Reaching out, she patted the woman’s knee in an effort to be comforting, even as Diana’s increasing distress unsettled her, “Shhh….it’s okay, you’re not there anymore.”  </p><p>Diana’s haunted eyes were full of ghosts when she looked at Mary, finally processing the woman in front of her before she pulled away from her, and covered her face with her hands, “I’m sorry, I….it’s so hard to stay lucid here… I’ve been here for so long, hiding. Always hiding and missing her. I am trying so hard to find a way out of here but all of the doorways are walls, all of the windows are mirrors, and I’m just constantly turning back into myself.” The blonde’s voice caught in her throat and she bit back a sob.</p><p>Mary felt her chest tighten as she heard the severity of her current predicament in Diana’s anguished words, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, she closed her eyes and imagined her sweet little cottage in the woods. Imagining the feel of her cross stitch in her hands and the relaxing weaving in and out as she created a cheeky slogan like the last one she’d done; <em>This is the proof that I have the patience to stab something 1000 times.</em> </p><p>Rather than soothing her, thinking of her cozy little sanctuary was making Mary’s heart ache. She opened her eyes and offered her hand to Diana, “You’re not alone anymore. Why don’t you tell me about her...your baby?” Grateful for the distraction, Mary squeezed the hand that slid into hers encouragingly and leaned against the strength of the dirt walls, closing her eyes and allowing herself to be transported by Diana’s story.</p><p>
  <em>Diana had grown up playing with dolls, crushing her tulle skirts from hours of sitting in front of her dollhouse, placing little figurines at the kitchen table, in the living room, in a rocking chair in the nursery. The porcelain baby was so worn from her warm little fingers that the details on its face had rubbed off. She loved that little doll so much there were nights where she’d sleep with it under her pillow, whispering little prayers to God that she would grow up to be a Mama. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>She’d grown up not far from the Spellman Mortuary and one day, walking by, she noticed another little blonde girl sitting on a blanket in the cemetery. Intrigued, she wandered closer and saw that the girl was having a tea party with a one-eyed teddy bear, a naked doll with her hair burnt off, and a jar of spiders.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Noticing the curious girl, Hilda Spellman covered her naked doll with a napkin and offered Diana a teacup. “My sister said I annoyed her, so she set my doll on fire. Do you want to play with me? I made the tea myself from the chamomile in my own garden!”    </em>
</p><p>
  <em>As the years went on, Diana and Hilda became close friends. Diana enjoyed learning about botany and baking in the Spellman’s huge kitchen, but as they grew older, Diana’s interests turned more personal. She began to realize she felt drawn towards Hilda’s older siblings; Zelda, in particular, intrigued Diana with her grace, poise, ambition, and beauty. The redheaded girl barely gave her the time of day but when Diana tripped on the steps going up into the house and skinned her knee, it had been Zelda’s soft hand that had helped her to her feet. In that moment, Diana had felt a violent and unfamiliar swoop in her belly as their fingers touched and their eyes met.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Are you okay?” Zelda asked her and after having admired her for so many years, Diana couldn’t find the words to reply so she simply nodded her head and watched as Zelda smiled and walked away, leaving Diana tracing her palm where those fingers had been. </em>
</p><p><em>While fleeting moments of confusing electricity passed between Diana and Zelda, it was Edward who pursued her and, unsure of her feelings towards his sister, Diana allowed herself to fall for his dark eyes and easy charm. On the eve of her eighteenth birthday, she watched with widening eyes as he got to one knee and asked for her hand in marriage.</em> </p><p>“I said yes, Mary, and that’s when the horror began. It had all been an elaborate glamour to lure me into the Spellman family. A family of witches! The moment I said yes, they all changed and seemed to grow older right in front of me.” Mary gasped, shocked to learn that her favourite pupil was a descendent of witches, her mind began to race at the implications of witches in Greendale.  </p><p>Diana nodded sadly, “Somehow Edward had convinced Hilda and Zelda to agree to a spell that would make them appear to age alongside me. There was always some excuse as to why their parents weren’t there. By the time I learned the truth, I had spent nearly my entire life being a part of theirs; Hilda was my best friend, Zelda was...still too intriguing to give up, and I was deeply in love with Edward.” Not wanting the story to end, Mary kept her thoughts to herself and squeezed Diana’s hand, encouraging her to continue.</p><p>
  <em>From the age of eighteen until their marriage at twenty-one, Diana followed Edward down the Path of Night. As a mortal in the Witch World, she struggled to fit in and was often ostracized by Edward’s peers. Edward, hungry to become the next High Priest of the Church of Night, spent most of his time with Faustus Blackwood studying and applying their knowledge, leaving Diana on her own. With Hilda away in England, dealing with their cousin Ambrose, Diana reached out to Zelda to help her adjust to the Path of Night.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Over the next three years, as Edward climbed the ranks in the Church of Night to become High Priest, Zelda Spellman surprised Diana with the patience in which she taught her about the coven and their dark rituals. The pair would spend long days together, arms linked as they walked through the Greendale Woods, discussing their desire for Motherhood. Diana expressed to Zelda that she hoped her wedding night would be fruitful and bless her with a child and Zelda shared her dream of becoming a midwife and her hope of also becoming a mother someday. It was during those long walks that Diana fed those butterflies in her belly, allowing them to soar freely for a time before caging them once more within the normalcy and conviction behind her union with Edward.</em>
</p><p>“We were married and we tried to get pregnant for a year before we were told by a doctor that Edward would not be able to produce an heir, something that I would come to find out was the only reason he had pursued me in the first place.” Mary watched as silent tears slid down Diana’s face, leaving clean tracks through the dust and grime caked on her face. “Knowing how I ached for motherhood, it was actually Zelda who suggested a pact with the Dark Lord.”</p><p>Mary had to stop her there, she yanked gently on Diana’s arm and cocked her head with a  frown, “The….dark lord?”<br/>
</p><p>Diana held Mary’s gaze, “Satan.”</p><p>Mary dropped the woman’s hand with a sharp cry as her hands flew to her neck, gripping her cross so forcefully the fragile chain snapped and it fell loosely into her palm. Squeezing her eyes shut, she opened her mouth to begin a prayer then stopped, remembering that her presence in his unforgiving place was because God had abandoned her. With a shuddered sigh, her hands holding the cross close to her heart for comfort, she opened her eyes and whispered, “Go on…”</p><p>
  <em>Letting his ego overpower reason, Edward had refused to go along with Zelda’s plan, insisting that Diana was not to be offered to the Dark Lord in this manner. Tired of being ignored and pushed aside as Edward focused on the Church of Night and a manifesto outlining behaviours he himself would not engage in, Diana took matters into her own hands. Asking Zelda to help her, she summoned the Dark Lord to the woods and offered herself to him. A traumatic and horrifying experience, Diana was grateful to have Zelda there, and when it was over, she crumpled into a ball in the redheaded witch’s lap and sobbed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Feeling somewhat hollow after her encounter with the Dark Lord and avoiding Zelda because she had been witness to it, Diana had been thrilled to hear of Hilda’s return from England. It was Hilda who was the first to hear of Diana’s pregnancy and the one chosen to be her midwife. When Zelda found out that Diana had not chosen her as a midwife and that she’d told Hilda about the pregnancy first, she turned away from Diana. In an ultimate act of betrayal, Zelda went to Edward and confessed to what she’d helped Diana accomplish. </em>
</p><p>“He was never a particularly kind man, Mary, but he had never been cruel. After he found out what I’d done, he threatened to take my baby.” Mary reached out and brushed a tear from Diana’s cheek as she continued. “I thought Sabrina would be safer if I baptised her so as soon as I was able to, Hilda and I went to the Holy Mother Church of Greendale and had her baptised. I made Hilda swear on our shared past, one that was built on a lie but still meant something to both of us, and she agreed to hide Sabrina’s baptismal certificate for me.”</p><p>Diana fell silent and Mary worried she might be losing her to the madness that had gripped her earlier, “What about Zelda?” </p><p>“Oh Zelda.” Diana’s sigh was heavy and full of emotion. “Zelda has always had a furious temper. I didn’t know this until I died but a few nights after the baptism, maybe to punish me for choosing her sister as my midwife, she put a sleeping spell on me and helped Edward take Sabrina to the woods to sign her name in the Book of the Beast. And now she has my baby...and that’s why I’m here. Stuck. I don’t know if I can trust her to raise Sabrina as I would have and to keep her safe. I don’t know what her motives are. I don’t know how deep her resentment runs.”</p><p>Mary eyed the candle as it grew dimmer, having burned down low, and she began to fear what might happen when the flame finally blew out. Shuffling closer to Diana, she stretched her legs out and made sure their knees were touching so that she would have an anchor to bring her back from the panic that would set in with the dark. </p><p>Mary’s voice shook, “Please, continue.”</p><p>
  <em>While under the sleeping spell, Diana’s dreams were full of darkness and omens of impending evil. She awoke in a cold sweat, panicked, and felt only momentary relief to see Sabrina sleeping peacefully in her bassinet. As usual, Edward’s side of the bed was empty and Diana felt the overwhelming urge to leave the bedroom before he came back. Scooping Sabrina up into her arms, Diana was blinded by a sudden vision; the Dark Lord loomed over the babe, smearing a blood soaked upside down cross onto her forehead, with a voice screaming from behind her, “The witches are coming….RUN!”

</em></p><p><em>Diana held Sabrina close and ran. She got as far as the front door of the Spellman Mortuary before Edward stepped in front of her and with a snap of his fingers, she was forced to stop. She watched him pry Sabrina from her immobile fingers as tears streamed down her face. Edward held her baby close, bouncing her gently with feigned care for a child he knew was not his but one whom he needed to execute the Dark Lord’s plan. Then he snapped his fingers again and everything went dark. When Diana became conscious, she found her wrists attached to a hospital bed with unforgiving straps and an IV shoved into her veins, pumping narcotics into her system. </em>
</p><p>“When I realized he planned to offer Sabrina up to the Dark Lord, he sent me to the asylum to get me out of the way. He’d enchanted the staff to see me as unstable and dangerous, as if I were capable of harming another person. When Zelda found out what Edward had done, she came to rescue me, but in order for Edward to accept that I wouldn’t be a threat, she had to agree that he could put me under a Caligari spell.” </p><p>Mary frowned and Diana paused to explain what it meant to be under a Caligari spell. Mary’s hand flew to her throat, “That’s awful Diana! How could Zelda agree to that?”</p><p>Diana shrugged softly, “She gave me a choice, I could agree to returning with her and being put under the spell so that I could be with Sabrina, or she could free me from the asylum but then I would have to run and never return. I do believe she was trying to save me from her brother’s wrath...but I wanted to be with my baby, so I agreed.” </p><p>
  <em>Zelda held fast to Diana’s hand as she guided her through the halls of the Academy of Dark Arts, where Edward was waiting in his office. Pausing before she opened the door, Zelda leaned close and whispered in Diana’s ear; “Edward is going to take you and Sabrina to Italy with him to make it appear like he has familial support while he presents his manifesto to the Anti-Pope but when you come back, I promise, I will find a way to free you from the spell.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Diana felt Zelda hesitate, their cheeks pressed and she closed her eyes breathing her in, wondering what would have happened if she had never consented to marrying Edward. She felt Zelda cup her cheek and when their lips met, her knees buckled and she reached out to grab the witch’s hip to stop herself from falling. When she opened her eyes the sparkling emeralds that met her gaze were full of regret, “He would have killed you, Diana. Power is the only love language my brother speaks.” </em>
</p><p>“And then our plane crashed.” Diana shrugged and sighed, the woman’s nonchalance disturbed Mary but she realized that being stuck in Limbo for more than fifteen years would be ample time to accept death. </p><p>“If Sabrina was on the plane with you, how was she saved?” Mary kept glancing anxiously at the candle, the wick flickering precariously in the pool of wax.</p><p>“I’m not sure but apparently she teleported right into Zelda’s arms. She’s been there ever since and I’m so torn.” Diana’s voice began to shake, “I don’t fully trust Zelda. She promised to help me but she has also betrayed me. Like her brother, she is ambitious and will stop at nothing to rise within the ranks of her coven and Church. Edward was willing to use Sabrina for the Dark Lord’s plan to secure his own power and privilege - would Zelda do the same?”</p><p>Mary’s fingers rubbed the smooth silver of her cross as she frowned, unsure if there were any words that could soothe Diana’s worried soul, “Sabrina is my favourite pupil, I have been teaching her on and off for years now. She is intelligent, curious, gregarious, and kind. She has only ever seemed happy and content; I would be very surprised to learn that her aunts were harming her in any way. I have only met Zelda Spellman a handful of times over the years but she has always seemed fiercely proud and protective of Sabrina. I don’t think you have any cause to worry.”</p><p>Diana turned to look at her, her eyes filling with tears of gratitude, “Truly? Do you believe she is safe?” </p><p>Mary hesitated, unsure how to respond having just found out there were witches in Greendale, her instincts told her Sabrina could still be in danger but she didn’t want to contribute to Diana’s fears. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, the candle wick sizzled into its wax and they were blanketed in darkness. Instinctively, Mary reached out and grabbed hold of Diana’s arm, unable to speak. The darkness seemed to trigger Diana’s disorientation and she began to mutter about her baby, witches, and running away. Terrified that she would be left in the Dark with the Soul Eater searching for them and Diana being unable to help, Mary curled up into a ball and started to pray.</p><h3>To Be Continued...</h3>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 3: Madame Satan</h3><p>Lilith fell to her knees and threw her head over the toilet as she regurgitated the bits and pieces of Adam Masters that she’d unknowingly consumed under the Dark Lord’s deceiving eye into its cool porcelain bowl. Slamming the lid down as if it could erase the contents and reminder of what she’d done, the demoness crawled away from the evidence of evil and curled up into a corner on the floor. Gasping, Lilith tried to understand how Lucifer could have known about her love when she’d put an invisibility spell on Adam. </p><p>“How did the Dark Lord discover us? The ring…” Lilith looked down at the onyx ring in her palm, “...the ring should have hidden Adam. I don’t under-”</p><p>The Dawn of Doom lifted her chin and swept her fiery gaze to the raven in the window with a sneer, “It was you, wasn’t it Stolas? You ungrateful stool pigeon. You’ve been reporting back to the Dark Lord ever since he brought you back to life. Haven’t you?”</p><p>Stolas barely had time to open his beak and caw in response before Lilith opened her mouth and the scream that erupted from her brought Hellfire along with it; Stolas exploded, feathers floated to the ground and chunks of bones clattered on the tile floor. Gripping the ring in her hand, Lilith swallowed her sobs, feeling numb as she reflected on all of the times the Dark Lord had betrayed her. Millennia after millennia he made promises he refused to keep, chaining her to his side and dangling Hell like a carrot she could never grasp. He’d sent her to Greendale to influence Sabrina Spellman, his half-mortal daughter, into signing her name in the Book of the Beast and completing a prophecy that would welcome the hordes of Hell onto the Earth.</p><p>“Years of servitude. Years of torment. I’ve killed for him….and now, he’s taken the one thing I loved.” Lilith placed Adam’s ring on her finger and pulled her hands to her heart, closing her eyes and whispering; “The greatest revenge is to right the wrongs I’ve committed on his behalf.” Slowly picking herself up off of the bathroom floor, Lilith washed the tears from her face and rinsed any reminders of Adam out of her mouth. Dabbing her mouth with a hand towel, her eyes caught the embroidered slogan curling across the plush face; <em>We love because He first loved us.</em> </p><p>“Not all of us.” Rolling her eyes with a quiet snort, Lilith balled the towel up in her hands and tossed it in the trash as she exited the bathroom.</p><p>Walking through Mary’s cottage, Lilith took in her surroundings for the first time, having never paid attention to the trinkets on the dresser, the pictures on the wall, or the smaller details of her victim’s life left behind. Pausing in the hallway outside of the bedroom, Lilith found herself staring at a picture of Mary and Adam; Adam’s gentle smile spread widely across his face, his arm slung around Mary’s shoulders, the slight woman leaning into him with a shy smile on her face. Reaching up, Lilith touched Adam’s face and felt a pang of sorrow ache within her. </p><p>As her fingers touched the glass, she was transported to that moment in time…</p><p>
  <em>Mary snuggled into Adam and smiled into the camera, placing her left hand on his chest to show off her ring proudly. When she’d gone searching for engagement photographers, the cranky pharmacist at the local Drugstore was the best Greendale had to offer. She tried to avoid staring at the large mustard stain on his sweater vest as he muttered about having to hurry through lunch to make this appointment. Looking up at Adam, Mary warmed from the tips of her toes to the top of her head when he blessed her with a smile; he was leaving again in a few days and she’d wanted to get the photos done before he left. </em>
</p><p><em>Already drowning in the thought of how lonely she would be without him for the next few months, her smile wavered but his arm tightened around her shoulders and, feeling both small and protected, Mary found her smile again. Sometimes she would catch herself looking at him in awe and she’d secretly pinch herself to see if she was dreaming. At fourty-five years old, she thought her chances of finding a decent man had long gone but then she’d run into Adam at the library two summer’s ago and he’d been loving her perfectly ever since. </em> </p><p>The glass reflected Lilith’s face back at her as she pulled her hand back, surprised at the turmoil of feelings rolling through her at this peek into Mary’s life. She’d chosen the woman because of her already established relationship to Sabrina but she’d also been chosen for the quiet life she led. Lilith was confident no one knew Mary Wardwell well enough to suspect anything had changed once her fleshsuit had been taken over by the Mother of Demons. Even Adam Masters, her besotted fiance, had barely commented on her newly vamped appearance after returning from his post with Physicians without Frontiers.  </p><p>Moving down the hall, Lilith stopped on a black and white picture of an older couple that must have been Mary’s parents and reached up to touch its gilded frame....</p><p>
  <em>Mary blinked as the flash of the photographer’s camera blinded her. Cocking her head, she studied her parents; they’d decided to get family portraits done for her graduation and it was the first time since their wedding, eighteen years ago, that Mary’s parents had been in front of a camera. Deeply religious, they believed that vanity was a sin and that having too many pictures of oneself was an expression of vanity but Mary convinced them as she wanted a current picture of them for her dorm room. They were also well into their sixties, having had her very late in life, and she felt like this may be their last professional photo together. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The dark haired A+ student had applied to New York University and was offered a full scholarship including residence package. With a love of history and storytelling, she was doing a double major in History and Anthropology with the intention of getting her Masters in Library and Information Sciences. The idea of spending her life diving into books, researching other cultures and the history of her beloved country made Mary’s heart soar. Eager to get started, she had already packed her room and she still had a couple months of summer before the fall semester began.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her parents had bought her an elaborate Bible with gilded pages as a graduation present and Mary had been forced to hide her disappointment behind a forced smile. She would have preferred they save the money and use it to visit her in New York, rather than give her another Bible. Every birthday and important occasion she’d been given a Bible or a rosary; she had nearly twenty Bibles and almost as many rosaries gathering dust on her shelves in her room. Not wanting her parents to feel bad, Mary made a big show out of packing her new Bible and favourite rosary in the boxes addressed to NYU. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mary loved her parents but ached to participate in a more varied world. She’d chosen a congregation in New York to join, to appease her parents, and she would attend worship every Sunday as she had every year since she could remember but she was more excited at the idea of joining a club or maybe even a sorority. Greendale was such a sleepy little town, and participating in Church had taken up so much of her time, Mary had never really had the opportunity to explore her other interests. The idea of checking out the All University Gospel Choir, the WoMentorship program, and the Pins and Needles Yarn Craft Club kept her up at night with excitement.</em>
</p><p>“Satan help her - poor Mary, just wanting to branch out and away from the False God’s clutches. ” Lilith shook her head as she moved on, feeling a strange mixture of regret and guilt as she traced the smile she stole on the next frame and was transported to Mary’s university graduation...</p><p>
  <em>A brilliant student, Mary was able to complete her double major in four years instead of five but instead of joining any clubs and making new friends, Mary had to work every weekend to make enough money to hire a care worker for her parents who had become ill shortly after she left. Exhausted from studying all week then working graveyard shifts at a greasy spoon diner where truck drivers thought her ass was an appropriate resting place for their hands, Mary had made the decision to put her Master's program on hold and move back to care for her parents herself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>On graduation day, Mary stood proudly to accept her diploma and imagined her parents in the audience alongside her peers’ smiling family members. She took that diploma in hand, her future a bright and clear path leading her far away from her stifling middle class Christian upbringing, and walked off the stage with her head held high. Tossing her graduation cap jubilantly into the sky along with her graduating class, Mary’s laugh rang true and she made herself a promise - as soon as her parents were well again, she would continue this journey towards becoming an archivist with the dream is becoming employed at the Beinecke Rare Book Library in Yale University. A life full of books was the richest existence Mary Wardwell could ever have imagined and she was eager to get there.</em>
</p><p>Lilith smiled softly at young Mary’s enthusiasm to hurry up and gain control over valuable records and documents that most people would simply brush aside. As the oldest witch and woman on Earth, Lilith appreciated Mary’s passion for preservation but was confused how the woman ended up as a teacher in Baxter High; “What happened Mary….” </p><p>Intrigued to learn more, Lilith wandered into Mary’s bedroom as if for the first time. She dragged her fingers across the knitted quilt tossed across the foot of the bed, looking for more memories but finding only that Mary had made the quilt over several lonely nights in front of the fire while listening to gospel music on her vintage radio. Moving around the room, Lilith opened Mary’s armoire, the sweet scent of lavender wafting from within as the demoness touched Mary’s limited colour palette of tweeds and cashmeres. Coming across a worn NYU sweater, Lilith yanked it from the hanger and pulled it close, taking it over to sit on the edge of the bed. Closing her eyes, she allowed the memory to wash over her... </p><p>
  <em>Wearing her favourite NYU jumper, Mary hopped on the Greyhound for home a couple of days after her graduation ceremony, her boxed-up-life riding beneath her in the belly of the bus. Shoving her glasses up the bridge of her nose, Mary cracked the spine on an old favourite, Dante’s Inferno, and began to swallow the words hungrily. She was halfway home with the sun quickly descending into night, when the bus paused for a washroom break and Mary finally looked up from her book. Watching the bus empty, Mary decided to grab a snack, and threw her hair up in a messy bun before bouncing off the bus.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her mind distracted by Dante’s vivid images of Hell, Mary didn’t see the man with his hand outstretched until she was practically on top of him; “Oh! So sorry!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Please miss, can you spare some change for my baby? She needs some milk.” Mary paused, reaching into her pocket to fish out the handful of dollar bills she had left. Offering them to the man with the grateful eyes, Mary held his hand in both of hers and murmured softly out of habit, “May God bless you, sir.” </em>
</p><p><em>Smiling away his gratitude, with no money left, Mary turned away and got back on the bus, watching the man walk into the store and buy a small bag of groceries before disappearing around the side of the building. Grabbing her backpack from the seat in front of her, Mary put it on her lap and rested her arms on top of it, sending up a prayer of thanks for her life of good fortune. Resting her cheek on her arms, Mary decided to close her eyes for a while.</em>   </p><p>“You really were good, weren’t you Mary?” Lilith whispered quietly, gripping the sweater tightly to her, the gentle smell of lavender filling her nostrils. “You didn’t deserve to die.” </p><p>Thoughts of Mary’s purity and the vicious nonchalance that killed her coupled with thoughts of Adam’s similar fate, shook Lilith. Never before had she been so intimate with a victim’s personal belongings, never had she occupied their house, their body, their life. She’d fallen in love with Mary’s fiance and that love had killed him just as surely as Mary’s innocence had killed her. Guilt was an unfamiliar feeling to the demoness and she struggled to process it, her hands shook as she gently folded the sweater, as if the movements were her penance. </p><p>She wanted to know more; “Secret window, secret door, open wide and show me more.” The sound of a latch opening caused her head to turn towards the dresser where an ornate jewellery box sat with the lid open. Lilith rose and moved to it, the contents simple but precious; a thin gold wedding band, a tiny gold cross, and a worn rosary lay within. Brushing her fingers across the items, Lilith felt overwhelmed with sorrow…</p><p>
  <em>Mary’s mother died while she was somewhere on Interstate 80 and with her, all of Mary’s hopes and dreams. Blissfully unaware and looking forward to seeing her parents, Mary bounded off the bus and watched as the driver yanked no less than five relatively large boxes from underneath. Using a payphone, she called for a taxi and requested they send someone with a van to accommodate her luggage. Pulling up to her parents house, she ran inside to grab some cash as she’d given all of hers to the man outside the store the evening before.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Mom, Dad, I’m home! I just need to borrow a twenty for the cab drive-” Mary stopped short as she entered the livingroom to see two hospital beds, one craddling her wisp of a father, bent with grief, and the other hauntingly empty. “Wait...Dad? Where’s Mom?” Mary’s eyes frantically scanned the room and stopped on the care worker who stood and came towards her with outstretched hands, her mouth moving in so many apologies that Mary couldn’t bear to hear. </em>
</p><p>Lilith reached up, surprised at the wetness on her cheek, brushing it away she sniffed and pulled the drawer of the jewellery box open. Nestled within the smooth red velvet was a thicker gold band, a tiny book of psalms, and a humble looking wristwatch. Lilith paused in her journey down Mary’s memory lane, taking a moment to pull back the lace curtain and gaze out onto Mary’s garden illuminated by the moonlight. The emotions welling within her must come from her connection with the life of the person whose body she inhabited, unfamiliar and painful, Lilith struggled to understand them.

Born of the Earth, the First Woman could only imagine what it felt like to be connected to parents, to have a relationship that was meant to nurture and support growth simply by loving someone unconditionally. Curious about the emotions milling within her, somewhat overwhelmed, noting that they seemed to have a physical component that made her feel uneasy and a bit nauseated, the demoness decided to stop for the night. Rather than dull these new sensations with her usual nightcap, Lilith decided to take a walk and fully immerse herself in them in hopes of gaining a new understanding of the human experience.</p>
<h3>To Be Continued...</h3>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 4: The Memory Swallower</h3><p>Mary felt a hand on her arm and opened her eyes to feel Diana looking at her; “Come on, I know where we can get more candles. Unless you’d prefer to stay here and wait for me?”</p><p>“Oh goodness no!” Mary shook her head vehemently, wondering if her prayers had manifested in helping quell Diana’s madness and bring about more lucidity. Getting to her feet quickly, one hand clasping Diana’s and the other pressed against the dirt wall, she allowed herself to be led, “Where are we going?”</p><p>“We’re going to see the Memory Swallower, an entity that can pass easily between the threshold of Limbo and Earth. It resides mainly here in Limbo but will fetch items requested by those of us in Limbo for a trade.” Mary was grateful for Diana’s confident footing through the tunnels she’d created, still feeling very disoriented in the darkness.</p><p>“...for a trade?” Mary felt a sense of foreboding build within her.</p><p>“Yes.” There was a lengthy pause and Mary thought Diana was finished but just as she was about to ask for further information, Diana continued, her voice shaking; “For each item requested, the Memory Swallower takes a memory.”</p><p>Mary dug her heels in and forced Diana to stop, “What do you mean it takes a memory?”</p><p>Diana took a deep breath, “The Memory Swallower trades happiness for items from Earth so that it has something to occupy its time here. It steals good memories from those who request items from it and it replays them for itself like a film to pass the time. I don’t remember how to bake, I don’t know exactly when my birthday is, I can’t remember what day it was when Edward proposed to me, I have very few memories left of my childhood as Hilda’s best friend, and….” Mary could tell Diana was crying; “...I’ve forgotten exactly what my parents look like.”</p><p>Mary felt the depth of Diana’s sacrifice drive itself deep into her heart. “I’ve been here for so long, Mary, with each memory it takes, I feel myself slipping deeper into madness because it is easier to live there than it is to live within the darkness and evil of the only memories I have left.” </p><p>Mary wasn’t sure how much more of Diana’s grief she could shoulder along with her own, it was a small mercy that she was still coming to grips with where she was and how she got there, unable to fully process her own emotions. Compared to Diana, the weight of her own grief was small. Squeezing the blonde’s hand encouragingly, she remained silent to allow her to continue until the thick black gave way to a filmy grey and they climbed out into the fog.</p><p>“And now we have to run to keep ahead of the Soul Eater. Follow me and don’t say a word!” Diana began to jog and Mary did her best to keep up. Weaving in and out of trees, it was clear this was a path Diana had run multiple times; every so often, the woman would stop behind a large tree to let Mary catch up and then continue on. Finally, they came to a massive hollowed out oak tree and Diana led Mary inside.</p><p>“Back again, girl?” The figure that turned around to face them both appeared to be a dapperly dressed man with a thick brown beard to match his hair and dark eyes, he startled in surprise to see Mary standing beside Diana and his voice lowered menacingly. “I told you never to bring anyone else with you.”</p><p>Mary took a step back and glanced at Diana who seemed to be staring straight through the man in front of them. “I’m sorry, she just arrived and I was afraid if I left her behind the Soul Eater would get her.”</p><p>Staring at the man in front of them, Mary frowned, her intuition urging her to speak up, “Can’t you see him, Diana?”</p><p>“Him? The Memory Swallower is an entity, it doesn’t have a physical form. What do you mean you can see….him?” Diana turned to look at Mary quizzically.</p><p>“I see a man dressed in a suit and tie with a bowler hat. He’s got brown hair, eyes, and a thick beard.” Mary watched Diana’s eyes grow wide in horror as she spun around to face Edward Spellman.</p><p>“Edward!” Diana gasped and backed up several steps, her hands flying up to grip at her coat.</p><p>Mary watched as Edward’s face changed, darkening into a rage that terrified her to the core, his eyes narrowing as whatever spell he’d cast over Diana dissipated with Mary’s discovery of his true identity. As he raised his hands, Mary watched Diana wince and without thinking she grabbed Diana’s hand and pulled her out into the fog, running in the opposite direction.</p><p>“It was him this whole time!” Diana muttered frantically as Mary pulled her along, “It was him. This. Whole. Time.” Mary felt a strong resistance as Diana dug her heels in and forced them to stop, turning she was met with Diana’s own rage.</p><p>“Not only did he orchestrate a glamour that made my entire childhood a lie, trap me into marriage, promise my baby to the Dark Lord, lock me in an asylum, place me under a Caligari spell, and take me on the plane that would kill me….he has been here, stealing my happy memories, for YEARS. Leaving me to suffer in agony with nothing but nightmares to keep me company.” Mary watched Diana take a deep breath and before she could reach out to stop her, she released a rage-filled scream that echoed off of every tree, bouncing back and forth throughout the fog, before falling to her knees sobbing.</p><p>Mary listened in horror as the growling roar of the Soul Eater rumbled from the distance, “Diana, we have to run.”</p><p>Covering her face in her hands, Diana’s quiet sobs gave way to mournful weeping as the depth of Edward’s manipulation overwhelmed her; an entire life lived beneath the thumb of an ultimate puppet master, Diana had been but a marionette to his whims. Even in death she could not escape his sadistic torment. Mary reached down to pull on Diana’s arm but she only yanked it back; “Go Mary. Leave me. I would rather be consumed by the Soul Eater than live another moment in this never ending Hell.”</p><p>Conflicted, Mary hesitated wanting to try to save Diana but then the ground shook with the warning that the Soul Eater was near and she knew she was out of time; “I’m so sorry Diana.” Mary reached out to touch the woman’s shoulder tenderly then turned on her heel and fled.</p>
<h3></h3><p>After hiding in a thick grouping of trees for some time, Mary decided to make an attempt to find her way back to the tunnels. Exhausted, she walked slowly in one direction, looking for  landmarks but everything looked like fog and trees. Feeling the familiar bubbling of anxiety rising in her chest, Mary began to scan her surroundings more carefully, slowly scrutinizing every inch of space in front of her. Through the fog she could make out the shapes of things that looked human but one in particular caught her eye. Unlike the other shapes, who appeared naked, this one wore a coat.</p><p>“Diana!” Mary called out and rushed towards the woman, grabbing her wrist and pulling her violently into a desperate hug. “God bless, you’re okay!”</p><p>“Who…?” Diana pulled back from Mary with a frown, confusion creating the furrow in her brow.</p><p>“Mary. It’s me, Mary! It doesn’t matter...I’m just so grateful. How…? The Soul Eater was right on top of you?” Mary looked over Diana’s shoulder as if expecting the danger to be just beyond her.</p><p>“The Soul Eater….Mary….” Diana blinked, reaching up to rub her forehead before looking back at Mary. “Mary….the Memory Swallower….” Diana gasped.</p><p>“Edward.” Mary offered, nodding as the pieces seemed to fall into place. She watched as Diana’s eyes filled with tears but she was not prepared for the words that followed.</p><p>“I saw Sabrina!” Diana gripped Mary’s hands with excitement. “I saw her! You were right Mary, she’s grown into a beautiful young woman.”</p><p>“Sabrina is in Limbo? Is she….” Mary couldn’t say it.</p><p>“No no, I think she was looking for someone. Witches can come and go from Limbo, I suppose that’s how Edward has been retrieving things for me as the Memory Swallower.” Diana’s nostrils flared at the reminder of his betrayal.</p><p>“How did you escape the Soul Eater?” Mary pressed, her nerves building.</p><p>“I….I lost lucidity when I saw the Soul Eater. My survival instinct must have kicked in and I started to run. While running, I ran into Sabrina but by then I was confused again and the Soul Eater was right behind me. I couldn’t stay or I would have risked us both, so I kept running….and here we are.” Diana glanced around her, “I don’t think it’s far.”</p><p>“We should go back to the tunnels Diana.” Mary started to tug at Diana in the direction she had been heading but Diana shook her head.</p><p>“No Mary, I’m tired of running. If the Soul Eater wants a soul, I have just the one.” Mary’s face fell as she realized that with Diana’s lucidity came her overwhelming grief and apathy.</p><p>“Please Diana, you don’t have to do this. We can go back to the tunnel and try to figure out a way out. If Sabrina could get in, that means that maybe she can come back and take us out with her. We just need to figure out a way to contact her…” Mary frowned, this sort of discussion was so far out of her wheelhouse she felt like a heretic even speaking this way.</p><p>Diana’s sardonic laugh surprised Mary into silence; “Oh I’m not talking about my soul, Mary.” Mary’s eyes widened as Diana confirmed her assumptions were correct, “I plan on luring the Soul Eater to Edward.”</p><p>Immediately, Mary felt her guts churning through the turmoil of emotions she felt over the idea of condemning someone’s soul. As a devout Christian, the idea of participating in a condemnation of any kind felt wrong, far beyond her station in life. Who was she to do God’s work? Her mind spun to a halt when Diana reached out to pat her hand, “This isn’t your fight, Mary.”</p><p>Straightening up, Mary lifted her chin and shook off decades of indoctrination, “Maybe not Diana, but look where a life of devotion has led me. Clearly, I have been following the wrong path and it’s time to base my decisions not on what others expect of me but on what I expect of myself. I would like to help you, if you’ll have me.”</p><p>The brilliance of Diana’s smile strengthened Mary’s resolve. Putting their heads together, the two mortals made a plan to catch a warlock. Diana would distract Edward by entering his hollow and begging him to continue fetching things for her, she would convince him that she cared more about her present predicament than she did about his deception and that she would continue to exchange memories for worldly necessities. While Diana was speaking with Edward, Mary would place large rocks outside of the hollow entrance to slow Edward down if he tried to run, giving the Soul Eater more time to find him. When the rock wall was complete, Mary would tap two rocks together loudly three times, signaling to Diana who would then start screaming to alert the Soul Eater.</p><p>“That’s when you run, Mary.” Diana looked solemn.</p><p>“What about you?” Mary chewed on her lip nervously, unsure of their plan.</p><p>“I have to hope that the Soul Eater will get to Edward and be distracted enough by consuming his soul that I will be able to slip away.” Diana sighed softly, swallowing the rest of her words, and Mary didn’t press further. This was a risky gamble but Diana was willing to risk it all and maybe, with Edward gone, she would find the peace she needed to cross over to the other side. Mary refused to stand in the way of that possibility, the reward was too great not to try.</p>
<h3></h3><p>Mary could hear the soft drone of Diana’s voice and the rough timber of Edward’s as they argued and she quickly began stacking the rocks. Despite the cool fog, the physical exertion soon had her sweating as she piled rock upon rock, grunting softly. She paused when she heard the familiar hum of the discussion stop and her blood ran cold as she began to catastrophize all of the ways their plan could fail. Holding her breath, she waited to hear Diana’s voice. When the silence continued to drag on, Mary hurried to finish the wall, desperate to give the signal and hear Diana’s scream.</p><p>When the wall was as high as Mary’s chest, she took two stones and tapped them together three times. Almost immediately she heard the scream and she breathed a sigh of relief as its blood curdling sound reverberated into the thick fog. The Soul Eater had been on Diana’s tail and Mary felt the familiar vibrations of its footsteps turning towards them; with no time to run, Mary hid behind the large expanse of the tree’s trunk and prayed Edward’s soul would be enough for it to leave without finding her.</p><p>Diana’s scream nearly drowned out Edward’s cursing as he realized what she planned for him. Mary heard as he tried to exit the hollow and the rock wall came tumbling down around him. The growl and screech of the Soul Eater silenced Diana’s screams as it descended on the soul offered to it. The silence was sickening and Mary couldn’t help but look around the trunk.</p><p>A hulking figure was bent over Edward Spellman’s body, its face contorted and stretching as if it were made of elastic bands. His mouth was opened in a scream but no sound could be heard, his eyes were wide with fear and his fingers dug into the dirt beneath him, trying to claw his way back from the Soul Eater. With a violent shudder, the entity unhinged its jaw, dropping its face entirely to the ground and scooping Edward up into its mouth. Like a predator with a fresh kill, the Soul Eater turned away from the hollow and scurried off to enjoy its meal alone.</p><p>“Diana!” Mary rushed into the hollow to find Diana’s clothes in a crumpled pile, the only trace of her.</p>
<h3>To Be Continued...</h3>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bet you didn't expect that, didja? ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 5: A Human Experience</h3><p>The moon bathed Lilith in light as she wandered idly in Mary’s garden, settling within the feelings of grief and heartache. Reaching beyond the anger she felt at the death of Adam, an emotion she was familiar with and used to manipulating to her will, she faltered with sorrow, rolling it around within her as if it were an object she was trying to discover. A curious observer, Lilith noted how it felt - the sadness settled like grains of sand in the bottom of an hourglass, heavy and suffocating. It was unpleasant but it seemed to open her up, cracking her ribs wide open to make way for a more intense experience. It floored her and Lilith found herself compelled to sit down on a bench between a trellis of sweet peas and a hydrangea bush.</p><p>Breathing out slowly, fully immersed in her feelings, Lilith winced and muttered to herself; “Humans experience this all the time?”</p><p>Struggling to understand how humanity could feel so deeply and continue to put one foot in front of the other, Lilith’s thoughts wound back to Mary and how sorrow-dipped her life had been. From a childhood full of restrictive religious doctrine, to a hint of a life outside of that, and back to Greendale where she would remain until her death. The sadness Lilith felt was not just the death of Mary’s parents, but the eradication of everything she’d hoped to become. Lilith didn’t wipe away the tears this time, she allowed them to slide slowly down her face, feeling the wetness, the physical demonstration of her inner ache.  </p><p>As she cried, Lilith felt the weight lift somewhat, as if her tears were a physical release of the pain she felt deep within; “Fascinating…”<br/>
Her icy blue gaze fell upon the purple hydrangeas, their gentle violets complimented by a soft blush of blue glowing from the center outwards, and she realized that in allowing herself to feel so deeply, she was able to perceive the world around her with far more depth than ever before. Reaching out, she grasped a petal between her thumb and index finger, rubbing its velvet softness gently, and when it offered a memory, she closed her eyes to accept….</p><p>
  <em>Hydrangeas were Mr. Wardwell’s favourite flowers and Mary had transported this one from her family home after she’d sold it. For the next four years after returning to Greendale, Mary cared for her father and accrued some medical debt to keep him comfortable at home until the day he died. After the first year, Mary knew she would be delivering end of life care rather than helping him to get well and she dove deeper into the Church to help her with her grief. She began volunteering at the Sunday school and found that she really loved teaching the children. Her dreams began to shift.</em></p>
<p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p><em>Mary took night classes at the community college and was able to graduate with a degree in Education. She would return home after class and spend the evening excitedly running lesson plans passed her father. For the first time, her father told her he was proud of her and that was all Mary needed to decide that Greendale was where she’d stay. When she found the cottage, it was in desperate need of repairs, only inches away from disaster, but it was everything she’d ever dreamed of owning and she knew God had put it in her path to reward her for staying and caring for her father.</em>
</p><p>Lilith pulled her hand back, “Humans are such fickle creatures. Mourning the death of their dreams one moment, then seeing new possibilities in a pile of near rubble the next.” </p><p>Swinging her head to the side, the demoness studied Mary’s little cottage, a humble beginning that offered hope for happiness to the spinster orphan. Narrowing her eyes in thought, Lilith realized she felt better, the wax and wane of emotion emotion a relatively quick experience. Charmed at the thought of Mary seeing a treasure out of someone else’s trash, Lilith was eager to learn more, and she stood to walk back into the house. With her hand on the doorknob, a memory knocked….</p><p>
  <em>The sharp edges of the cottage key bit into Mary’s palm as she gripped it tightly and nearly skipped down the overgrown path in her overalls, ready to start cleaning out the place. The intensity of her happiness was just as overwhelming as her sorrow had been, she was bursting with it. As the door swung open, she took a moment to say quiet thanks to her father for encouraging her to sell the family home and use the money to buy the cottage, renovate it, and take care of any remaining medical debt once he was gone. The only thing she’d taken from the old house was the hydrangea bush, which she’d already planted in the garden.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It took months to clean and renovate the cottage. Mary slept in the shed outside, huddled close to a heater under several blankets, while she worked on the house. A true labour of love, she wanted each nail and each roll of paint to be from her own two hands - she wanted to look at every inch of the cottage and feel proud to know she had been the one to bring it back to life. She chased bats out of the attic, mice out of the kitchen, and squirrels out of the chimney. She agonized over the simplest decisions, vacillating between painting the walls or using wallpaper, blinds or curtains for the windows, hardwood or tile flooring. Finally, it was finished and she filled it with family heirlooms, her mother’s china, and the five boxes of her worldly possessions. The last thing she hung on the wall was the picture her parents begrudgingly took after her high school graduation.</em>
</p><p>Lilith blinked her eyes open and entered the cottage, seeing it in a different light, appreciating each detail as thoughtfully and intentionally placed by Mary’s hands. Waving a hand at the fireplace, a roaring fire rose to please her, and she settled in front of it with a freshly poured bourbon. The innocence and purity with which Mary had created this world for herself tickled Lilith, the simplicity intrigued her; happiness seemed to fleeting at times but here, in this cozy corner of the world, Mary had created her own. Within Mary’s creation, Lilith had also found happiness. Thoughts of Adam threatened at the edges of her curiosity but she beat them back, Adam had never been hers. The loss of him was much more Mary’s than it was her own. </p><p>“Oh Mary…” Regret was such an unfamiliar feeling for Lilith that she barely recognized it, “...did you love him as I thought I did? Did I love him or was that your influence?” </p><p>Confused, Lilith took a long sip of her drink and looked up at the fetish doll Adam had brought her back from his trip….brought back for Mary. Opening her palm, she conjured the doll into it, “Adam loved you Mary, he truly did.” </p><p>
  <em>Mary had been on a handful of dates in her adult years but with Greendale being such a small town and Mary not being very motivated to look outside of it, there weren’t many options for her. She didn’t mind, she was content to teach at Baxter High, take in the occasional movie at the local theater, and come home every night to her sweet cottage where she’d spend the night grading papers then disappear into a book until she fell asleep. She continued to teach Sunday school on the weekends and she participated in Church related activities on a weekly basis. It was a simple existence but one that satisfied her greatly.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One weekend Mary was at the library looking for a very specific book about the history of the area in the Middle East, formerly referred to as Mesopotamia, where the Garden of Eden is said to have existed. As she scanned the shelves, the dewey decimal number in hand, Mary turned the corner of the shelves and ran right into a man with that very book in hand.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh! So sorry. I was too busy looking at the numbers to see you there.” Mary’s blues looked up into Adam’s and she blushed almost immediately as he smiled down at her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why hello, what number are you looking for?” The warm timber of Adam’s voice vibrated against Mary’s heart as if it were knocking, wanting to be let in. She recited the number on her piece of paper and he grinned and pointed at the book in his hand, “Well look at that.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh well I can request it when you’re finished with it, of course.” Mary made to walk backwards but Adam reached out and gently stopped her.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“Why don’t we share it? Let me take you to dinner, I would love to know why you’re interested in Mesopotamia - it’s quite a specific subject.” Mary didn’t know what it was about him, but she was compelled to say yes, she felt like she would have said yes no matter what the invitation had been. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>At dinner Mary learned that Adam was a doctor on leave from Physicians without Frontiers, taking a break before his next post in Iraq, where he would be stationed for at least nine months; “I wanted to learn more about the area before I went there so I thought I’d start from the beginning.” He laughed softly and Mary melted, chiding herself for falling so easily for this man.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Adam asked her about her life, drawing all of her hopes and dreams out of her before their final course - he was so easy to talk to. He seemed genuinely impressed to hear about her combined degrees, her perseverance in getting her teaching degree while caring for her father, and her cottage renovation. He looked right into her eyes when he took a sip of wine and when their shared dessert came and she gushed about loving cheesecake, he took one small bite then pushed the plate to her with the excuse that he was too full to continue. </em>
</p><p>Memories of Adam felt like a spike to her heart; intellectually Lilith understood that Adam had been in love with Mary, not her, but everything Mary loved about Adam was what had made Lilith fall for him. The intensity of his attention, the wholeness of his love, and purity of his curiosity, and how easily he would give everything just to see her smile. It was just earlier that day that they’d taken a walk in the woods where Adam had expressed that he wanted to show Lilith the world. The emotions that had welled up within her in that moment had taken her by surprise just as Mary’s sadness had. The wish she’d made when she threw the rock into the water was to be allowed to see the world, to be allowed this person who wanted so much more for her than she’d ever dreamed was possible to have for herself. </p><p>It was easier to think of Adam as belonging to Mary, rather than something else she had lost to the Dark Lord so Lilith finished her drink and went in search of a specific memory she wanted to see. Brushing her fingertips along the trinkets and bits and bobs around Mary’s house, none of them offered what she was looking for. Lilith decided to open Mary’s closet again and began running her hand over the teacher’s clothes; when her palm brushed against a beautiful Norman Norell original, the bodice a shimmering sea of sequins giving way to a full tulle skirt that hit just below the knee. Pulling it from the closet, Lilith hung it in front of her and traced the curve of its waist, her fingers disappearing into the skirt as she closed her eyes…</p><p>
  <em>Every year from the beginning of her teaching career at Baxter High, Mary offered to chaperone for the prom. No one had ever asked her to hers and this was a way she could experience the magic of it each year, milling among her students proudly watching as they danced with their crushes and giggled into their hands. This year was even more special as it was the first year that Adam had been home for it since they’d started dating three years ago and, knowing how much she loved prom, he’d surprised her with a gorgeous evening gown to wear to it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I feel like a princess!” Mary beamed as she twirled in front of him and laughed. Catching her by the waist, Adam bent her back and kissed her fully on the lips.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re not a princess Mary, you’re my Queen.” Straightening, he held his arm out for her to take and they left for the prom.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mary spent the evening being spun around the dancefloor by Adam, dizzy with joy. When the music stopped to announce the King and Queen of the prom, Mary leaned into Adam and turned towards the stage with a smile. The student body president stood at the podium with a crown in her hands, looking out over the crowd, her eyes met Mary’s and she grinned; “This year we only have a Queen of the Prom, elected by our student body as one of our most favourite people; please give a round of applause to our Queen, Miss Wardwell!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mary’s hands flew to her mouth in shock as the student body president jumped off the stage and came towards her, placing the crown firmly on her head. Spinning around to show Adam, a cry left her throat to find him down on one knee, a small velvet box open in one hand, the other outstretched to take hers. She placed her hand in his as her eyes filled with tears and the entire gymnasium went silent in anticipation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“My Queen, you are everything I never knew I needed. You are patience, grace, kindness, and compassion. I am hardly worthy but want nothing more than to live the rest of my days bringing a smile to yours. Mary Wardwell, I want to show you the world, will you do me the honour of marrying me?” Adam’s sweet blues widened with anticipation and hope as he looked up from bended knee.</em>
</p><p>Lilith snatched her hand back as if she’d been burned, “He wanted to show <em>you</em> the world, Mary.” Acknowledging that Adam had never been hers was a confusing mix of pain and acceptance but Lilith was more focused on another feeling, the blooming warmth she was beginning to feel towards Mary Wardwell.</p>
<h3>To Be Continued...</h3>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 6: Between Somewhere and Nowhere</h3><p>The emptiness of the hollow felt like it occupied every cockle of Mary’s heart, and with nothing in its path, despair settled firmly within her, a sorrow so deep Mary couldn’t even dredge up the emotion needed for tears. Abandonment felt familiar, as that is what God had done leaving her in this forsaken place, and she nestled within it as hope slipped away. Bending down to gather up Diana’s clothing, Mary took an excruciating amount of time folding each item as if she could conjure Diana back by taking care of her things. Running her fingers along the hem of her skirt and the buttons of her jacket, Mary welcomed the numbness knowing eventually she would have to deal with the sadness more intensely. For now, going through the motions of folding clothing reminded her of doing laundry and brought a small twinge of comfort.</p><p>With the clothes neatly folded and placed in a pile, Mary took in her surroundings. The hollow was filled with Earthly items; candles, matches, an entire corner of books, a confusing amount of pocket watches and pearls, blankets, and a lantern. Moving over to the candles, Mary lit one and thrust it into the lantern, carrying it with her to the overflowing pile of books. Grateful for the mercy of something to distract her and occupy her time, the woman snatched a book off the top of the pile greedily and sat down where she stood. Her eyes ate up the worlds on the page, delving deeper into the world of Dante’s Inferno, haunted by the images of Hellfire and demons but knowing if she stopped, she would have to face her own demons. Slowly and thoroughly, Mary traced each letter of each word with her gaze, making them last as the candle burned through the night and her eyes grew heavy.</p><p>Mary awoke with a slow blink of her eyes, her back aching as she’d rested it against the sharp edges of the mountain of books, and Dante’s Inferno against her chest. Straightening up with a soft moan, she raised her head and startled violently, crying out to see a figure seated across from her.</p><p>“Shh...it’s me, Mary. I didn’t want to wake you.” Dressed in the clothes Mary had so meticulously folded, Diana smiled and moved to put a calming hand on the brunette’s ankle.</p><p>“Diana?!” Mary’s mouth fell open and she threw the book aside, moving to grab the woman in a fierce embrace. “You disappeared! I thought you...I…” Tears of relief wet Diana’s jacket as Mary buried her head in the other woman’s shoulder.</p><p>Mary felt Diana wrap her arms around her and squeeze before gently pushing her back, “It was Sabrina, she called me to her and wanted to know how to help me out of Limbo. It was so disorienting and I couldn’t focus my thoughts. I was worried about you, Mary.” Diana took Mary’s hands in hers and squeezed tightly. </p><p>Touched by Diana’s concern, Mary wiped quickly at her tears, “I’m fine. The Soul Eater took Edward and left, I haven’t heard anything from it since.” Mary shook her head, “I can’t bear the thought of being the reason your connection with Sabrina was cut short, can you get back to her?”</p><p>Diana smiled, “I can now that I’ve been summoned from here but first, I want to put a protection on this place for you Mary; remaining in this hollow will be better for you than the tunnels I’ve dug.” </p><p>Mary nodded and watched as Diana stood gracefully and began to walk around the room with a newfound confidence. Mary reflected on the change in Diana, as if seeing Sabrina had brought new life to her, and reminded her of her humanity, as well as her power. Recognizing Diana’s motivation as hope, Mary ached to feel some but all she felt was the nagging certainty that Diana would soon move on and she would once again be left alone. Diana’s hand fluttered to tap the tops of the earth-bound items around the room as she muttered words Mary couldn’t hear, until finally she stood before Mary and reached down to help her up.</p><p>“There. I’m no witch but Zelda taught me a thing or two on our long walks in the woods and that should hold you until I return. I hear Sabrina calling me, a babe needs my help, and there are still answers I seek. Stay here Mary, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” As she spoke, Diana’s clothing melted away to reveal a cream coloured gown with fragile lace details, the dirt and worry erased from her face, and a shining golden crown sat atop her head.</p><p>As her body began to glimmer and fade, Diana spoke once more; “This is the longest of nights, Mary, keep the candles burning on this Winter Solstice and you shall have nothing to fear from the dark.” Mary nodded, not trusting her voice, and she watched as Diana fully disappeared.</p><p>Alone again, Mary lit a handful of candles and settled back against the books. Her mind wandered to Adam, her only love, a man who had loved her so greatly that it had overwhelmed her. When a complete lack of choice presents itself, is it truly honest to take the only available offer….Adam had loved her wildly and she had always been surprised by its ferocity. It wasn’t that Mary believed herself to be unlovable but more that her solitude had been comfortable but as a God-fearing Christian, turning down marriage had never been an option she would have considered.</p><p>The truth of her thoughts rattled Mary, “Of course, I loved Adam for his kindness, his sincerity, and for how much he loved me. But I also loved him for what he represented - the relief that I could finally live up to the expectations and standards held of me. That his attention made me worthy in the eyes of those who had spent an entire lifetime refusing to see me.”</p><p>“But what if I had been raised to believe my worth independent of marriage? What if the life I’d built for myself had been celebrated as just as valuable as obtaining a husband? Would I have loved Adam then? Or would I have found his affections somewhat overbearing?” Mary chewed on her bottom lip, her mind whirling, she would never truly know if she’d loved Adam for who he was or for what he represented. “I suppose it doesn’t matter now. If Diana finds what she seeks, solitude will be my only company.”</p><p>Not wanting to fill her mind with the horrors of the Nine Circles of Hell, Mary reached into the middle of the mountain of books and yanked one free - Oscar Wilde’s <em>The Picture of Dorian Gray</em>. A classic she had read several decades ago, Mary had to chuckle softly at Edward’s taste in books, “Quite the choice, Mr. Spellman.” Opening to the first page, she began to read, trying not to think of how long she might have to wait until Diana returned…. or worse still, if she would return at all.</p>
<h3></h3><p>Lilith’s eyes opened with the dawn, rolling onto her side in the one-size-larger-than-a-twin bed Mary had in her bedroom, she scanned the contents of the bedside table. An intimate snapshot of an individual’s most personal belongings, Mary Wardwell’s bedside table had a copy of her parents’ portrait in a smaller size, a box of tissues, some hand cream, a half-finished embroidery pattern, a wristwatch, and a stack of books. Sitting up in bed, Lilith grabbed the first book from the stack - <em>Love in the Time of Cholera</em> by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Running her hands over the words, Lilith leaned back against the simple metal headboard, held her fingers on the pages of the book and conjured up that moment.</p><p>
  <em>It was the first snowfall of the season and Mary was watching the thick white snowflakes tumble down from the sky to litter the earth from the comfort of her bed. Their heavy weight a welcome blanket heralding in the season of hygge - coziness. Eager to crack open the new Gabriel Garcia Marquez novel she’d purchased, Mary slid into a thick robe, shoved her feet into her reading socks, and hurried to put the kettle on for tea. Moving to the living room, Mary meticulously built a fire and watched as the flames chewed at the bark, climbing slowly but surely to fill the fireplace with warmth. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her water boiled, Mary poured a small bit into the teapot, swirling it around to warm it before dumping it out and tossing two PG Tips teabags into the pot. To ensure the granite countertops wouldn’t steal all of the heat of her tea, Mary placed her pot on a wooden trivet, poured the just-boiled water to fill the pot and slipped a crochet tea cozy she’d made over the top. Cream was far too heavy for the slight brunette, she preferred milk and one small teaspoon of sugar in her tea. Reaching up on her tiptoes to grab a tray from the top of the refrigerator, Mary carefully placed the pot on the tray along with a beautiful tea cup balanced on a saucer, the matching cream and sugar set full of milk and sugar, a silver spoon, and a beautiful plate from her mother’s china with a jam covered scone to the left. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Moving easily with the tray in hand from the kitchen to the living room, Mary set it down on the coffee table and glanced at her wristwatch. Exactly five minutes had passed and the perfectly steeped tea was ready to be poured. Mary watched as the milk turned her tea the perfect shade of caramel brown before putting a small teaspoon of sugar in and she stirred it. Taking a sip, Mary smiled with satisfaction then grabbed her book, kicked her feet up on the ottoman, and pulled a blanket over her lap snuggling down into the pages of her brand new book.</em>
</p><p>Closing the book, noticing Mary’s bookmark showed she’d been halfway through the novel, Lilith returned it to the stack; “You do pay a charming amount of attention to detail, don’t you Mary?” </p><p>Pulling the blankets off of her, Lilith swung her legs out to touch her tiptoes to the cold wooden floor. Unnoticed before now, Mary’s reading socks lay forgotten near the foot of the bed; leaning down, Lilith grabbed them and slid her feet into them with a smile. Grabbing a shawl off a hook on the back of the door, the demoness threw it around her shoulders and moved towards the kitchen to mimic Mary’s tea routine; “There is such freedom in finding contentment in simplicity.” </p><p>Looking down at the floorboards Mary had painstakingly laid piece by piece, gathering splinters in her soft hands, Lilith reflected on how she remained joyous despite the lingering pain; how Mary would rearrange her living spaces every couple of years to feel a thrill of excitement at the new perspective it gave her; how her routine allowed for a bubble bath and one glass of wine every Friday night, which would leave her feeling so relaxed after a long week of teaching. Lilith lived both within and without Mary’s memories, a jarring experience as she began to realize the admiration she thought she felt for herself was, in fact, nearer to affection for the mortal woman whose body she inhabited. </p><p>Not bothering with a teapot and the entire routine, Lilith simply tossed a tea bag into a coffee mug, poured the water over it and took her black tea to a chair near the fireplace. With a snap of her fingers, a fire was lit and she stared deep within it, sorting through whatever it was she was feeling for Mary. Knowing the Dark Lord would expect her to spend the day preening over Sabrina to prove her fealty, Lilith had no intention of doing such a thing - her patience with Lucifer had run out. </p><p>Her eyes swung over to the table that had held the murderous meal only one evening ago, “I tire of catering to his whims only to be met with such merciless cruelty time and time again.” Picking up a double strand pearl necklace from where it had been placed next to the chair as if taken off after a long day and forgotten there, Lilith lazily rolled the pearls between her thumb and forefinger, inviting one last glimpse into Mary Wardwell’s memories…</p><p>
  <em>When the bird hit the window it had made such an awful noise, Mary’s hand had grasped unconsciously at her pearls. Rushing to the door to see what had occurred, she gasped to find a small swallow struggling to get to its feet. Without a thought, Mary scooped up the bird and felt for any broken bones. Satisfied it wasn’t hurt, she brought it into the house and used an old towel to create a nest in a basket near the fire, placing the bird there as she looked for something from the kitchen to offer it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tenderly stroking its brilliant blue feathers, Mary marveled at its coral-coloured face as she offered the swallow a blueberry; “There there sweet thing, you’ll feel better in a moment. You can stay as long as you need.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Leaning with her back against the chair and her legs outstretched on the floor next to the basket, Mary watched the swallow peck at the berry. Nothing distracted her from this moment as she took in every detail of the swallow’s dainty features, studying the way it moved, and when it began to flutter its wings, she jumped to her feet to grab the basket and place it on her front stoop, “Go on now little one, go on.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Mary’s smile was filled with wonder as she watched the wee bird flap its wings and hop out of the basket. Another couple of hops towards the edge of the stairs then it careened forward and took flight. Mary clapped with delight as she watched it fly upwards, past the trees, and disappear into the clouds. An almost child-like thrill shivered through her at what she’d just witnessed and with a joyful grin, she brought the basket back into the house.</em>
</p><p>“Mary was truly, genuinely happy. What would it be like to surround myself with that level of purity and goodness?” Lilith muttered to herself, having only ever been exposed to brutality and callousness. “I had a hint of it with Adam, do I dare give myself such a gift once more?”</p><h3>To Be Continued...</h3>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 7: A Gift Worth Having</h3><p>Mary was in the process of lighting another candle when Diana Spellman appeared before her, carrying a log in her arms. Mary was both relieved to see her and filled with trepidation that she was going to leave again. She kept her hope caged within her, even as her eyes widened in response to Diana’s presence, and she stilled the speech that wanted to leap from her - waiting for news.</p><p>“I saw them Mary.” The joy on Diana’s face warmed Mary’s heart even as she knew it was the beginning of the end. “Sabrina, Hilda, and Zelda. They are a family as much as any other. Sabrina has mothers, she is taken care of.”</p><p>Mary nodded in understanding as Diana placed the log on the floor near the open doorway and straightened to take Mary’s hands, “You were right, Mary. Zelda loves Sabrina, everything she does, every choice she makes, is for the well-being of her family. Sabrina is as much hers as she is mine, maybe more so with all of the time that has passed and all of the moments they’ve had together.” Mary squeezed Diana’s hands encouragingly and attempted a smile.</p><p>“You know Mary...I can’t say that I ever understood that Zelda could have just as easily been a choice for me as Edward was and perhaps that was why I responded so eagerly to Edward’s advances, so that I wouldn’t have to give her up entirely... but seeing Zelda tonight….I just…” Diana’s eyes shimmered softly as her heart beat loudly on her sleeve, “Despite the circumstances that put Sabrina in her arms, I am happy I was able to give Zelda the child she’s always wanted. She is more than worthy of motherhood and Sabrina is as much her daughter as she is mine.”       </p><p>Mary was surprised to feel Diana’s hand gently brush the tears off her cheek, unaware that she was crying, and she pulled away from the woman a bit ashamed, “I’m sorry Diana, I am happy for you. You’ve been here for so long, you deserve your freedom. I can’t help but worry what will become of me but this moment is about you and I truly am thrilled for you.”</p><p>“Oh Mary, I am sorry that I must go.” Diana offered her hand and Mary took it, feeling the woman’s warmth as her hand was covered by both of Diana’s, Mary nodded sadly. “I brought you the Spellman’s Yule log. It’s enchanted and as long as it’s lit, no malevolence shall pass. It should keep away the Soul Eater. You’ll be safe here, Mary.” </p><p>“How will I ever be free, Diana?” Mary couldn’t stop the tears as they poured from her, a physical manifestation of her heartache.<br/>
Mary was pulled into Diana’s embrace and the woman whispered in her ear as she squeezed her tight, “You will have to accept that you are dead and the life you once had is over. Only then will you be able to move towards the life you now lead.” </p><p>When Mary pulled back and opened her eyes, Diana was gone but the yule log was burning bright. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Mary dug through Edward’s things and found exactly what she sought - pen and paper. Settling next to the fire, Mary began to write down everything that reminded her of her life; “Greendale. My parents. NYU. Wanting to be an archivist. Losing them. Teaching at Baxter High. Reading. Embroidery. Renovating the cottage. Hydrangeas. My garden. Adam.” She continued to scribble as the tears flowed, releasing her former self into the pages.</p><p>She stopped writing when she had no more tears to shed and she looked at the pages she’d filled out. She’d spent time drawing certain things, other things were described in just one word while others in entire paragraphs. She’d also written what she’d dreamed her life could have been, what it might have looked like, and she felt herself grieving that the most - the possibility of a future that might have looked vastly different from her present and past. Being denied those unknown possibilities was the most difficult to accept. </p><p>One by one Mary held those sheets over the Yule log, watching as her life-in-point-form went up in flames and she released the past, present, and future. As paper turned to ash and it fluttered to the earth beneath her, Mary looked down at the broken cross necklace in her hand and realized in order to truly move forward, she needed to leave her belief in the past as well. God had not saved her from ending up in Limbo, a place where she truly didn’t believe she belonged, and her life of devotion had not saved her from being murdered. Either God didn’t exist or Mary wasn’t a point of interest, either way, religion no longer suited her. It was time to let it all go.</p><p>Mary let the cross spill from her hands and land on the log, watching as it slowly began to melt and ooze into the cracks of the wood itself. Everything she stood for, everything that had defined who she was as a person, had gone up in flames. Emptying herself into the heat of the fire, she rose like a proverbial Phoenix with nowhere to soar, feeling both free and trapped. The flicker of the flames beckoned her with its dance and she gave in to its call, falling deep into its allure. Bewitched by the flames, Mary didn’t notice her visitor until their presence threw a long shadow across her line of sight. </p><p>Looking up, Mary Wardwell swallowed a scream as she stared into an exact replica of her own face.</p>
<h3></h3><p>Lilith saw the fire reflecting from the entrance of the hollow through the fog, leading her straight to Mary. Before she’d left the cottage, the demoness had created a time portal that would hold the cottage on another plane of existence where the Dark Lord would not be able to travel to. This would allow her to keep Mary safe while also giving herself the ability to come and go as she pleased to ensure Lucifer that she continued to do his bidding. With these precautions in place, Lilith would be given the space and time needed to explore a potential reality with Mary.</p><p>The horror on the mortal’s face reminded Lilith that the woman was seeing herself reflected and how terrifying and confusing that must be. Raising her hands to show she meant no harm, Lilith lowered her voice and infused it with calming tones, “I’m here to help you Mary, may I come in?”</p><p>Lilith glanced down at the Yule log, barring her entrance as it burned brightly and she tried to think of what she could say to gain the woman’s trust, “I want to take you from this place. I want to take you home, Mary. Your darling cottage is just as you left it, waiting for you.”</p><p>The First Woman could see the brunette trying to process what she was seeing, her mouth covered with both hands to keep any sounds from escaping. Lilith continued talking in a calm tone, “The hydrangeas are waiting for you…” Deciding to appeal to Mary’s empathetic nature, Lilith tried a different angle, “...please Mary, don’t leave me here for the Soul Eater to find.” </p><p>At that Mary nodded her permission and Lilith put out the Yule log with a snap of her fingers before stepping lightly over it, keeping her distance from her trembling twin. Clasping her hands in her lap, she tried to emit an air of trustworthiness, “I am Lilith, the first Woman.” The demoness decided it would be prudent to leave out the darker aspects of her otherworldly character.</p><p>“Lilith? As in….Adam’s first wife?” Mary got to her feet, backing up until her back was against the bark of the hollow.</p><p>“Ah well...that’s not entirely accurate. I was never Adam’s wife. He could not possess me so, he shunned me. I then became the object of male rage and vilification which led me to, ironically I realize now, allow myself to be possessed by another man...” Lilith sighed deeply, feeling exhausted all of a sudden, and reaching out to steady herself on the mountain of books nearby. Telling her story was no small feat and with Mary’s religious background, she knew it would be an uphill battle to reveal the truth of such a patriarchal and archaic system. Once indoctrinated by men, it was a long road back to reclaiming one’s power as a woman.</p><p>“Why are you here?” Mary’s voice betrayed her lack of confidence in Lilith’s presence and she avoided looking at her, her gaze settling on the demoness’ collarbone instead. “...is that my necklace?” Mary’s eyes blazed as she looked squarely into Lilith’s.</p><p>Lilith reached up to touch the simple string of onyx beads she wore around her slender neck, “Yes, it is. My apologies, it’s just so lovely, I was just borrowing it…”</p><p>Lilith watched as Mary’s emotions overrode her fear and the woman hissed viciously through gritted teeth, “Why are you here?!”</p><p>Smiling at the show of anger, Lilith stepped forward and forced the woman to look at her as she grabbed her hips and kept her still, “I’m here to save you Mary. Let’s go home, shall we?”</p><p>Mary dug her heels into the earth and leaned away from Lilith as she tilted her head and asked, “You do want to go home, don’t you?”</p><p>“Do you honestly expect me to trust you? I know what you are. You’re a demon Lilith. A demon who wears my face. I wouldn’t go anywhere with you.” The tone of Mary’s voice rose in anger as she twisted out of Lilith’s grasp and moved away from her.</p><p>“Mary Wardwell...did you not just finish releasing who you used to be? You must understand that includes everything you thought you knew about life, the world, and everything in between. You were taught to think of me as a demon, as something evil, is that right? I too have been taught to believe that of myself but together…” Lilith swallowed the sudden ball of emotion lodging itself in her throat and turned away from Mary, moving over to the stack of books to distract herself with their titles as she struggled to find her voice again. “...together we can create our own reality. We can become exactly who we were always meant to be, Mary.”</p><p>The scream that erupted from behind her propelled Lilith to spin around and see the Soul Eater descending on Mary, its claw-like fingers curling around her wrist as its jaw began to widen with anticipation of swallowing yet another soul that evening. Using ancient Hebrew to halt the creature, Lilith threw her hands out towards it and commanded it stop; “תפסיק!” </p><p>“Your meal delivered, your belly had been fed - this soul belongs to me instead. לְהִסְתַלֵק. As above, so below, without your power you must go. לָצֵאת!” Holding the Soul Eater with the power of her will and pulling her hands back towards her, the Soul Eater released Mary and was propelled towards Lilith. </p><p>With a horrifying screech, it lunged at Lilith, unhinging its jaw in an attempt to swallow her as Mary looked on in horror. Calmly, the First Witch thrust her fist into its mouth and gripped its spine, “You will leave now Soul Eater or I will turn you inside out. This soul is mine to claim as it was me who delivered it to this place to begin with. Be gone, creature, Mary Wardwell belongs to me.” Understanding passed between them and Lilith released her grip, watching as the Soul Eater as it oozed out of the hollow and disappeared into the fog.</p><p>“I don’t...belong….to you.” Lilith turned to see Mary shaking with an overwhelming amount of emotions boiling over within her. </p><p>Lilith sighed, “But you do Mary. The soul is bound to the one who took its life. You find yourself here because you were taken from the living before you were meant to be. No matter how much regret I now feel for having done so, the truth remains that your life came to an end by my hand. You are my responsibility now.”</p><p>The demoness watched as Mary’s emotions washed over her face, contorting it painfully, her mouth open in a silent sob as she reached up to touch the place where the scissors had pierced her neck. Meeting Mary’s gaze, Lilith watched her eyes fill with tears as the truth settled like daggers in her chest; “You did this to me?”</p><p>“I know this is difficult but we don’t have time for you to go through the stages of grief right now. That thing will come back and challenge me for you if we don’t leave right now. We need to go, Mary.” Lilith held out her hand, “Let me take you home.”   </p><p>When Mary didn’t move, Lilith dropped her hand with a growl, anger and irritation pushing out the patience and caution she’d been using with the mortal woman; “Fine. I’m going to leave now and you are well within your rights to stay in Limbo forever, if that’s your preference.” Turning to go, Lilith looked over her shoulder at the woman, “Or you can take your chances with me.”</p>
<h3>To Be Continued...</h3>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Should Mary stay in Limbo or go with Lilith?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 8: Coming Home (Mary)</h3><p>Mary trembled as she  stood in her living room, her eyes scanning over familiar objects that had barely been touched, until her gaze fell on the calendar and saw it had been at least two months since she’d been there even though it felt like merely a handful of days.  Pausing on the upside-down cross with a frown, Mary felt herself falling long after Lilith already caught her and helped her gently to the sofa. It was too much, she couldn’t process that she’d died but she was somehow alive; that she’d been killed by the original Woman; that a demon wore her face; that her house had been lived in by someone other than her. Her head spun and she lowered it onto the pillow she’d embroidered as Lilith helped her to the sofa.</p><p>“You don’t need to say anything right now, I’ll make us some tea. You also need to eat, Mary. The transition from Limbo back to Earth is hard on the physical body, it needs to readjust to being a molecular machine again rather than the ethereal essence it was in Limbo.” Lilith left the room and Mary closed her eyes.</p><p>Overwhelmed, she focused on her physical form and felt the breath flaring her nostrils, entering her lungs, where she trapped it for a count of three, then slowly releasing it again through pursed lips. Mary’s eyes flew open as she felt Lilith’s cool hands pressing against hers, still feeling uncomfortable with the demoness’ appearance, the brunette couldn’t bring herself to look directly at her. Instead, she stared down into the cup of herbal tea Lilith had made and forced her limbs to move in order to take it from her and bring it to her lips.</p><p>“I imagine it’s difficult to look at me...this way.” Lilith’s voice was soft but even that sounded like Mary. “I’m afraid the only other options are my green face or this one…” Mary looked up then and gasped loudly to see the face of her murderer, dropping the cup of tea into her lap and immediately jumping up to get away from the scalding liquid and the woman in front of her. </p><p>In one swift motion, Lilith grabbed Mary and hauled her over to the bathroom, where she gently dropped her in the bathtub and immediately ran cold water over the woman’s legs as Mary began to sob in earnest. The physical pain felt like enough of a reason to release the tension that the sorrow, heartache, and fear had created in her chest; covering her face, she felt her entire body shaking as she purged her emotions as freely as the water flowed from the showerhead. Lilith cooled her down quietly, reaching down to grab Mary’s hand and squeeze it gently; Mary didn’t have the energy to pull away, the skin to skin contact welcome as she struggled to process everything that had happened since she’d last seen home. </p><p>Feeling like a puppet in the arms of her puppeteer, Mary went through the motions when Lilith gently pulled her to her feet in the bathtub and began peeling off her clothing. Raising her hands to the ceiling as Lilith grabbed the hem of her soaked sweater and raised it up, pulling it off of her body and dropping it to the ground with a thick thud. Silent, she studied the replication of her own eyes as their blue brilliance moved to follow the hands that slowly unbuttoned her green blouse. As the wet fabric peeled from her skin, Mary shivered and Lilith sucked her teeth softly in sympathy, her hands beginning to work faster. Unzipping the tweed skirt, the demoness pulled it down slowly, careful of Mary’s sore legs, tugging softly as it pooled around Mary’s ankles to encourage the woman to step out of it. Standing in her underwear, Mary crossed her arms over her breasts, feeling both self-conscious and soothed. It was like being undressed by a best friend, familiar and warm, even as disconcerting as it was to look into her own face, Mary was thankful it wasn’t the other. </p><p>“May I?” Lilith’s quiet question sounded so much louder to Mary and she looked towards her, realizing she was motioning to her bra. Nodding, Mary dropped her arms and felt Lilith’s fingers lightly slide up Mary’s spine and quickly undo the clasp. As it slid down her arms, Mary flung it onto the floor then hooked her thumbs in her underwear and rid herself of that as well before sitting in the tub with her knees up to her chest.</p><p>Mary felt like she was watching everything in slow motion while being hyper focused. She noticed the deep red of Lilith’s nail polish as her fingers pinched the tub tap and turned warm water on, leading to the blue veins in her wrist as it turned with her fingers, on to the thin but strong forearm, her elbow, and the bicep caught in a beautiful black lace cap sleeve. She watched as the witch reached for a mason jar nearby and poured a generous amount of herbs and flowers into the bath, immediately the smell of lavender, roses, and chamomile filled the air and Mary felt at once more relaxed.</p><p>Closing her eyes, Mary leaned back against the clawfoot tub and felt Lilith move behind her, gently beginning to take the pins out of her hair and pulling it free. Unbidden, Mary groaned softly as her hair fell around her shoulders and she felt Lilith’s fingers work their way into its depth, massaging her scalp. Limbo was but a faint memory as Mary pressed back into Lilith’s hands, her breath catching as she felt the witch pour warm water over her head and begin to lather shampoo into her tresses. Never before had she been taken care of like this and she decided, rather than feel like she needed to repay Lilith’s kindness, she would simply enjoy.</p><p>“She did kill me after all….” Mary muttered.</p><p>“I’m sorry?” Lilith responded.</p><p>“Oh!” Surprised that she’d spoken out loud, Mary blinked her eyes open and looked up at Lilith. “Sorry. I was just telling myself to enjoy what you’re doing. I’ve never allowed anyone to take care of me before. Adam would often suggest it but I was always too shy to allow it and he wasn’t around enough to push me out of my comfort zone.” </p><p>“I didn’t realize I was pushing you outside of your comfort zone.” Lilith rinsed the shampoo out and began to comb conditioner through Mary’s unruly curls. “Would you like me to stop?” </p><p>“No, not at all!” Mary countered without thinking, then felt herself blush warmly. “This doesn’t feel out of my comfort zone. To be honest, I think I will need to spend some time relearning who I am now that I’ve let go of who I used to be.” Mary felt the blush darken in response to Lilith’s smile and she quickly closed her eyes, using the excuse of not wanting to get soap in them. </p><p>Silence followed for several minutes as Lilith finished cleaning Mary’s hair and handed her the soap to wash her body as she left to warm a towel for the former teacher. Clean, having washed Limbo and all of its horrific experiences off of her and down the drain, Mary stepped into the warm towel Lilith held out for her and relished the feel of the other woman’s arms as they wrapped around her. Leaning into Lilith, Mary almost forgot she was in the arms of her murderer, the warmth of the towel transporting her briefly to another time and place. </p><p>“Come, I warmed up some soup for you. I found it in the freezer so you’ll recognize it.” Lilith’s voice was a welcome balm and Mary nodded sleepily, allowing the demoness to wrap her in a thick terry cloth robe and guide her to the kitchen table where a steaming bowl of split pea soup, Mary’s favourite, awaited her.</p><p>“You don’t want any?” Suddenly ravenous, Mary began shoveling spoonfuls into her mouth.</p><p>Lilith smiled as she sat down beside Mary, putting a fresh cup of tea in front of her and pouring a bourbon for herself, “I don’t eat….soup.” </p><p>After a long sip of her drink, Lilith reached out to place a hand on Mary’s, “I would like to tell you the truth of why I’m here and what has happened since you’ve been in Limbo now so that there is nothing lasting between us but before I do you must understand, you cannot leave the cottage. You are not safe and because of that, I have created another plane for us to exist as we are here. If you step out that door, you will be at risk of falling back to Limbo or of being transported straight to Hell and into Lucifer’s clutches.” </p><p>Pushing her empty bowl away, Mary gathered the tea cup between both her hands and turned all of her attention on Lilith, “Go ahead.”</p><p>As Lilith explained why she had come to Greendale, what it meant for the Spellmans, and humanity as a whole, Mary felt her anxiety rise. Unable to say anything at this point, she nursed her tea until it grew cold as Lilith recounted her last few months in great detail. Mary watched as she faltered when speaking about Adam and it dawned on her; “You loved him.”</p><p>Lilith grimaced, “Oh I don’t know, Mary. I’m not sure I’m capable of love. I was fond of him, yes. I wanted him all to myself and I tried to keep him away from the Dark Lord but...it was no use.” </p><p>Deep within her, Mary felt a significant shift. She had always suspected Adam was dead but had assumed if she ever received confirmation of his demise, she would completely break down. As Lilith confirmed Adam’s death, leaving out the gruesome details, Mary arched a brow, “No...tell me how he died.” She pushed her tea away and reached out, sensing it was harder for Lilith to explain than it seemed to be for her to hear, and she took hold of both of the demoness’ hands and held them tight.</p><p>Watching Lilith become distressed as she explained what happened to Adam, Mary felt like she was outside of her body, watching her past self suffer and experience grief in a way she simply did not anymore. She squeezed Lilith’s hands as the witch’s explanation came to an end, the words that followed in response were as genuinely felt as the warmth and compassion in her heart; “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Lilith.”</p><p>The tables had turned, Lilith looked surprised as her eyes met Mary’s and she pulled her hands back, “You’re not upset?” Lilith frowned, caught off guard by her emotions. </p><p>“Of course I’m upset but I knew he was dead. The way he died is gruesome and I hope he didn’t suffer, but I have no tears left.” Mary stood, wanting to seek her bed. “I’m exhausted and at the end of the day...I am also dead so what does any of it matter? What sort of life is this? This is just Limbo all over again - I’ve simply traded one Soul Eater for another.” </p><p>Lilith looked somewhat taken aback and Mary shrugged sadly, moving towards her bedroom before pausing, “I suppose you’ve been sleeping in my bed, haven’t you?”</p><p>Lilith nodded, “I’ll take the couch. It’s your bed.”</p><p>“Yes, I believe that’s best.” Mary’s words were far harsher than she meant them to be but she wasn’t just exhausted, she was angry. At Adam for not realizing Lilith wasn’t Mary and putting himself in a situation that led to his death, at Lilith for killing them both, at God for allowing Lucifer’s presence in Greendale and for not protecting her, his most devoted servant. </p><p>As she entered her bedroom and firmly closed the door, she felt a simmering rage replaced all of her sorrow and she welcomed the warmth of it as it burned in her belly and fueled something other than the hollow emptiness she’d been feeling. Pulling back the covers, Mary climbed into her bed, the unfamiliar scent of someone else having occupied it for a time adding logs to her inner bonfire. With the covers up under her chin, Mary looked around and her eyes fell on the gown she’d worn when Adam had proposed hanging on the outside of her armoire as if someone had worn it; nostrils flaring, Mary tasted blood in her mouth and realized she’d bit her cheek.</p><p>“Now that’s just too far Lilith. For that, you’ll have to pay.” And in that moment, Mary Wardwell decided she would need to kill the First Woman.</p>
<h3>To Be Continued....</h3>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>....well that escalated quickly....</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this took so long, I feel like I'm losing a bit of steam. I need some motivation, if you liked this chapter, please leave a comment!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 9: Exit to Eden (Lilith)</h3><p>Having been unable to sleep all night, Lilith squinted as dawn introduced the sun back into the sky, and pulled her heavy body off of the couch with a groan. Moving into the kitchen, she flicked on the kettle and dumped the requisite amount of coffee grounds into the french press. Leaning her hip against the counter as she waited for the water to boil, Lilith ran her hands through her unruly mane with a deep sigh. For a brief flicker of a moment she doubted her decision to bring Mary back.</p><p>“Will it be too much to forgive?” Lilith reflected on Mary’s surprising reaction to learning how Adam died, how it hadn’t phased the mortal woman in the least, as if she’d already been through so much trauma that the knowledge of even more was just a simple building block nestled within the teetering tower of her overall mental health. </p><p>Leaving Mary in Limbo has become non-negotiable for Lilith and she’d assumed that bringing her home and holding her safely hostage in her own surroundings would bring far more comfort than distress. If she couldn’t convince Mary to forgive her, she would leave the woman alone to exist in her cottage in peace. The demoness was not interested in keeping Mary against her will or bending the woman to suit her needs as that would have negative effects on Mary’s purity, the exact reason why Lilith brought her back from Limbo in the first place. </p><p>“By surrounding myself in her light, I may be able to successfully banish the Dark Lord. Blinded by the light that surrounds me, I would be lost to him and maybe I too would finally be safe. Am I worthy of saving? Will Mary think I am?” Lilith blinked back the moisture pooling at the corner of her eyes and pulled two mugs down from the cupboards. </p><p>Lilith had been groomed to believe in her wickedness, her perceived depravity, from the moment she refused to submit to Adam until the moment Lucifer had killed Mary’s Adam. She’d been demonized and vilified throughout her entire history and she’d grown to become the horror men set her out to be. WIthin Lucifer’s grasp, Lilith had never considered any other possibilities and she’d been fairly satisfied with her position in life. As years went on, however, Lucifer’s promises became even more hollow and she grew wary, losing confidence that she would ever have what she wanted. When Adam treated her with kindness instead of cruelty, she was horrified to realize just how unfamiliar that felt and in that moment, she began to want more for herself. </p><p>Turning at the sound of the kettle, Lilith moved her face away from the steam rising and watched as the tiny black flecks danced within the bodum. She was focused so intently on the swirling of the coffee and her own thoughts, she didn’t hear Mary enter the kitchen, nor did she hear the faint <em>whoosh</em> warning her of what came next. Searing pain radiated from between her shoulder blades and she spun around to see Mary’s shocked look as she reached up to feel a letter opener protruding from her back. Carefully studying Mary’s face, Lilith knew this was the only moment she would have to tug on the mortal’s compassionate heartstrings, the guilt of what had just occurred would be the door the demoness needed to worm her way into Mary’s heart.</p><p>Lilith forced her legs to buckle, falling dramatically to the ground, bringing her hand up to drag across the counter and take the coffee mugs with her in a crashing crescendo that emphasized her fall. Grimacing as she hit the floor, Lilith allowed a lengthy groan to utter from her lips as she positioned her limbs across the tile floor to appear splayed and closed her eyes. A long moment of silence passed and Lilith began to think that Mary really did want to kill her and felt no guilt whatsoever but then she felt the woman sink to her knees alongside her.</p><p>“Ohhhh noooo….oh God no….what have I done…. No no no.” Mary muttered, anguished, and Lilith felt as she tried to press a dishtowel against the bleeding wound. Inwardly Lilith rolled her eyes but she laid still, allowing a few more beats to pass, a bit more blood to spill, ensuring that Mary would sink deeper into despair so that when she finally realized Lilith was immortal, she would be relieved. The last thing Lilith wanted was an endless cycle of attempts on her life. </p><p>“Mary….” Lilith croaked then briefly wondered if she was being too dramatic.</p><p>“I’m sorry Lilith! I just….I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I can live here, like this, with you.” Mary’s keening wail made Lilith grimace and she reached out to grab Mary’s wrist.</p><p>“It’s time you understood where I’ve come from.” Lilith lifted her head to look intensely into Mary’s eyes. “Shall we go to Eden, Mary?”</p><p>Mary gasped, eliciting a smile from Lilith; “The Garden of Eden?”</p><p>Lilith nodded, took a deep shuddering breath, and closed her eyes, “Close your eyes, empty your mind, and still your body. This won’t hurt but we will be traveling back through space and time...it can be very disorienting. When we arrive, give yourself a few minutes to orient before you try to speak.”</p>
<h3></h3><p>Lilith took a deep breath, breathing in the centuries’ rewind - the millennium’s refresh, as the brand new soil welcomed her once again into the Earth’s womb. When the Greeks personified the Earth and named her Gaia, it was Lilith’s mother they spoke of, and as her feet sank into the dirt of her former home, Lilith finally felt at peace. Looking down at her feet, she saw Mary look up and open her mouth to speak, but Lilith quickly pulled her to her feet and clapped her hand over her mouth. Wrapping her arm around the woman and holding her close, Lilith hissed in her ear, “Shh, just wait.”</p><p>Feeling the weight of the mortal in her arms as she stood on the place of her birth, far before mortals were born, she felt she needed to anchor Mary there so that she didn’t float away into the ether. Lilith felt the brunette still, their body’s pressed against each other, her cheek resting against her hair, her hands gripping and taking control. Nodding towards the space in front of them, Lilith felt Mary startle to see a man bent over a woman.</p><p>“That’s me...and Adam. Now watch.” Lilith closed her eyes, using the body she held as a crutch to lean the millennia of heartache that had built up within her, taking over every inch of space within the cavities of her heart, the hollows in her bones, and the rivers of blood in her veins. She didn’t need to bear witness to the beginning of her demise, she remembered it well. </p><p>Adam bearing down on her with fury blackening his eyes, unable to accept her refusal to submit, wanting to physically mold her into the woman he’d hoped she’d be. His hands leaving marks of his disdain behind, a violent red against her olive skin, leaving scratches from the dirt and stones as she wriggled out from under him. She felt Mary gasp against her hand, her breath hot and moist. Naked, Lilith bled from the wounds Adam inflicted in his blind rage, their equally predatory nature encouraging them to use their teeth and nails to drive their point across. Adam bled as well, Lilith made sure of that, and in the end they stared at each other with chests heaving, neither one ready to give up. Finally, Lilith walked away to find her own life elsewhere in the Garden of Eden. </p><p>Mary tensed against Lilith and the First Woman felt her grip the hand that held her tight. The angels were here. The ones who commanded that Adam find Lilith and bring her back, demand that she be the woman he wanted her to be. When he couldn’t, when she refused, the angels drew her likeness in the soil at their feet and spat on it, banishing her, cursing her, and turning away from her, exiling her to walk the Earth as the World’s first demon. They whispered about her in the ears of men, who vilified and depreciated her, who both wanted and feared her, who wrote stories, poems, and novels all demonizing her. Lilith felt Mary shudder and her hand became wet with the other woman’s tears.  </p><p>Adam then gave up his rib to create the woman Lilith refused to be and Eve was born. Lilith opened her eyes, watching a part of history she had not been present for despite what men would have others believe; the snake in the Garden had not been Lilith. Lowering her hand from Mary’s mouth, Lilith placed it on the hands around hers at Mary’s belly and squeezed hard. Mary squeezed back and Lilith leaned into her, grateful for the empathy of her touch as she watched the snake, sometimes spun in stories with her name, slither in the Garden and offer the apple. The snake was unfamiliar to Lilith, it could have been so many things including God itself. As Eve bit the apple and offered it to Adam, who also bit into it, Lilith shuddered - her fate sealed. When represented as the snake, she became the scapegoat for all of humanity's faults, according to the patriarchy that has dominated human society throughout the ages.  </p><p>Lilith knew that as a devout Christian, Mary understood the gravity of what she was observing and the severity of its effect on Lilith’s existence. She felt the woman tighten her grip on Lilith’s hands and lean back into her as she watched as God punished Adam and Eve, exiling them from Eden just as Lilith had been. As the images faded like a mirage in a desert, Lilith released Mary and sank to her knees. The ache between her shoulder blades where the letter opener had been was nothing compared to the gut wrenching heartbreak she felt being confronted by her past and finally acknowledging its role in shaping her life. </p><p>Landing softly, Lilith’s hands sank into the Earth, her nails clawing at it. Her mouth gaping open as she fought the air for oxygen, a strange noise strangled in her throat as she felt the overwhelming weight of this knowledge press down upon her. Forgetting entirely about Mary, Lilith straightened herself out against the soil, begging it to swallow her whole, pressing her mouth against it as if it were a mother’s cheek. <em>Please, please take me back. I can’t bear it any longer.</em>  </p><p>Gentle hands pulled at her as arms slid beneath her and she was pulled into Mary’s embrace. Her instinct told her to push away and crawl back towards the Earth to dig a hole in which to curl up and wait for eternity to finally grant her an ending, but she was too tired to push away and as Mary’s embrace tightened, she wrapped her arms around the woman and held on tight. For the second time in her entire life, Lilith was being cared for and as Mary’s fingers brushed the dirt from Lilith’s unruly curls, she gave herself permission to cry. </p><p>“Oh Lilith. I am so so sorry.” Mary’s voice was her own. “I understand now. How could you have done anything other than what you’ve done? You were only living up to the expectations set for you. Others determined your personhood, outlined your existence in the darkest shades of colour, and you had no other course but theirs.”</p><p>Lilith felt her sorrow evolve into rage and she pulled away from Mary, wiping her face, “You’re right and it wasn’t until today that I realized to what extent I’ve been used.” Reaching up, she caressed Mary’s cheek softly, “Now you know, who I am….why I am.”</p><p>Mary leaned into Lilith’s palm and closed her eyes, “Will you show me the Garden before we go, Lilith? I’ve dreamed about and researched this very spot for so many years, I truly can’t believe I’m here.”</p><p>Getting to her feet, Lilith reached down and helped Mary up, “Of course, I’ll take you to my favourite place. Where I went after being exiled - there you’ll be able to see the world, Mary.” </p><p>Keeping hold of her hand, Lilith gently pulled Mary through the macchia shrubland, kicking up sand and small bits of plant as she walked. High ground, separated by broad, undulating steppes gave way to two rivers and a mountain range. Originally, it had taken Lilith several days and several nights to reach the mountain range but in this plain between space and time, it was only moments before they were hiking up the dusty face of a mountain. Rocks slid beneath their feet as the demoness continued to guide them to the top. Lilith felt Mary squeeze her hand tightly as she tripped, catching herself just in time.</p><p>“Just a little further…” Lilith muttered as Mary grimaced, shielding her eyes from the searing sun as she looked towards the top of the mountain.</p><p>As the sun blazed high in the sky, the mountain face suddenly opened up and the mouth of a cave appeared. Lilith breathed in deeply and, in her excitement, she released Mary’s hand and ran deeper into the cave. Her firepit was there as if she’d just built it, a pile of furs flanked by a pile of bones, settled against the rock wall, and a vessel she’d made with rock-against-rock friction was near the entrance, ready to collect rainwater. Home.</p><p>“Mary, come in here!” She called out, waving her hand and starting a fire immediately, pleased that the millennia had at least shown her that she no longer had to attempt to light a fire with a flint.</p><p>Lilith grinned as Mary’s eyes widened at the primordial house. Already sweating from the desert sun, Mary kept her distance from the fire but looked through it to meet Lilith’s intense gaze, “How long did you live here?”</p><p>Lilith shook her head, “I’m not sure. I lived here long enough to remember what it felt like to truly be alone - the only being on Earth. That’s how it felt, at least. Eventually, I grew hungry and learned to hunt based on instinct. I spent my time catering to the basic needs that arose within me. When Lucifer Morningstar fell from the sky, I felt a stirring in my loins and because I had acted on every other impulse without any negative consequences, I treated this one as if it were merely hunger.” </p><p>The demoness sighed heavily and walked past Mary to the mouth of the cave, “Little did I know how starved Lucifer would leave me.”<br/>
The First Woman felt Mary’s presence next to her and she motioned at the view, “Here you are - the Garden of Eden, a desert wasteland with a smattering of date palm trees here and there.” </p><p>“It’s beautiful.” Mary breathed and she walked closer to the edge of the cliff cradling the cave. “Lilith, I think that you and I- …” Mary’s sentence was cut short as she turned to face Lilith and slipped, teetering on the edge of the cliff, arms cartwheeling in the air. Moving with lightning speed, Lilith grabbed Mary’s waist and pulled her violently towards her, the women crashing back onto the ground in a heap of surprised limbs.  </p><p>“You saved me!” Mary’s eyes bore into Lilith’s as she looked down at the demoness between her legs. </p><p>“You don’t think I would bring you back from Limbo only to kill you again, do you? I… I ache for your sunshine, Mary.” Lilith reached up to chase an errant strand of Mary’s hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. “I’m filled with such darkness-”</p><p>“No.” Mary cut her off, “You are full of Wonder.” Then Lilith watched as Mary descended upon her and in between here and there, on this alternate plane of existence, she melted into the press of soft lips against hers.</p>
<h3>To Be Continued....</h3>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to KatyaTrixie for requesting Mary's POV for the Exit to Eden chapter, writing it was quite an enlightening experience.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 10: Mesopotamia (Mary) </h3><p>The heat was what she noticed first, once her head stopped spinning and she was able to focus on where her body seemed to find itself. The heat was unbearable and the sun shone with a force Mary had never experienced before; every part of flesh that it kissed felt like a burn and she curled away from it, pulling the sleeves of her blouse down over her forearms, thankful she put on trousers instead of a skirt this morning. Moving her gaze from Lilith’s shoes to scan across the area, she felt a significant physical shift; as a mortal in a World prior to mortals, she felt suspended even though she was firmly on the ground. </p><p>The feeling of floating even while still was so disorienting she opened her mouth to express her fear but before her voice could escape, Lilith had pulled her into her arms and there she felt safe, tethered, and grounded. She welcomed the powerlessness of being quieted by Lilith’s hand over her mouth, it meant she could relax into the experience without the pressure of having to express herself during. The freedom she felt at having her voice taken away surprised her as much as the safety she felt in Lilith’s arms and she settled into it, feeling all of her emotions at once.</p><p>“That’s me...and Adam. Now watch.” Mary did as she was told, her brilliant blues focusing on the bodies before her, their naked limbs browned by the sun even though they had just met it. </p><p>As she watched, Mary felt an uncomfortable gnawing in her belly; she’d dreamed of the Garden of Eden, the beginning of humankind, ever since she was a small child. She’d imagined that Adam and Eve had grown among brilliant and vibrant flowers, thick foliage hiding them from predators - she had never learned about Lilith’s nativity. Beneath the broiling sunshine, among palm trees and dusty shrubland with no water in sight, the first humans started their life in a fight. </p><p>As her eyes widened, she watched Lilith refuse Adam and Adam strike her in response. Grimacing as they wrestled into the dirt, Mary held tight to the arm that encircled her waist and gasped against the hand on her mouth. Her mind trying desperately to compare what she was seeing with what she had spent her entire lifetime believing. Even within the feelings of horror she felt pride swell within her as she watched Lilith stand up for herself, something Mary had struggled to do within the expectation of obedience she’d learned from the Church. She felt proud of Lilith as if in standing up to Adam, Lilith stood for all women, including Mary, who would be faced with the strength of ill-intentioned men.</p><p>Watching Lilith finally turn to leave, Mary felt her body ache, her champion deserting her and leaving Adam to feel the rage of not being able to mold her to his liking. In that moment Mary felt a spark of solidarity, she wanted to run after Lilith and beg her to stay, to make Adam understand they were equal, to convince him that his life - humanity’s existence - would be so much better for accepting their equality. As Lilith disappeared over the ridge, Mary understood that that opportunity was lost and that it was an unfair load to burden her with when she had already been faced with such violence. It was impossible to expect Lilith to predict the future and fight for what had yet to happen. Hindsight was a cruel and unforgiving mistress. </p><p>When the angels descended, Mary had to dig her nails into Lilith to keep from swooning. To see the celestial beings that held such high positions within the ranks of her religion was an experience akin to meeting God himself and Mary could hardly bear to look at them. They were both utterly beautiful and shockingly grotesque, their features twisted at angles that didn’t seem possible and yet, each detail was stunning. They towered over Adam, their wings made of thick bone and muscle, covered in iridescent feathers that shone multiple colours depending on how they moved and where the light hit them. They were radiant and terrifying. They made her believe in God’s grace.  </p><p>Mary could feel her eyes welling and body shaking in their presence but it wasn’t until she watched them spit on the image of Lilith, banish her, and demonize her, that she finally understood. If there was a God, this was not the sort of God she wanted to dedicate herself to. A God that would birth a creature such as Lilith only to allow her to live a life of suffering was not a God worthy of her worship. Mary witnessed the angels’ cruelty through her tears as she weeped openly for Lilith, even as she was being held by her. </p><p>The deception left Mary feeling cold; she’d been told some version of the Creation story so many times where the snake was always personified as some version of Lilith and/or Eve with the conclusion always the same - women were the reason why humanity suffered. Before now Mary had never really thought about what that inference meant for womankind, for Lilith, or for herself. The moment she and Lilith came to the same understanding of the true significance and severity of this moment in the Garden, their collective pain was shared but it was Lilith who dropped to her knees. </p><p>Mary reached out to trace the air above the angry wound she’d created in Lilith’s flesh and immediately felt remorse for wanting to kill her. Not only had Lilith’s entire life been mapped out for her without her consent, but she had then been enslaved by a celestial man who had bent her to his will. Mary wondered briefly how Lilith’s life would have looked if Adam would have accepted her equally or simply let her go without using her as a scapegoat; how different it would have been had she never met Lucifer. The sound that escaped Mary’s throat was a quiet, guttural sob as she watched Lilith spread herself out against the Earth.</p><p>“Oh Lilith. I am so so sorry.” Mary moved without thought, pulling the First Woman into her arms and holding her tight. “I understand now. How could you have done anything other than what you’ve done? You were only living up to the expectations set for you. Others determined your personhood, outlined your existence in the darkest shades of colour, and you had no other course but theirs.”</p>
<h3></h3><p>Mary was in awe of how wrong she had been about the topography of Eden; intellectually she understood that the area where the Garden of Eden had been assumed to be was desert land but her religious upbringing had always painted a lush picture, as if the Garden could have been found somewhere in the United Kingdom. With that in mind, Mary felt yet another pang of disappointment and betrayal as she began to realize just how deep the deceit ran. Just how blind she had been to the reality of what could actually have been possible. </p><p>The Lilith that walked her through the desert had her fair skin but the Lilith she’d watched grappling with Adam had been an olive tone….the implications were clear. In many ways, like Lilith, her life had also been laid out for her. As a worshipper of the Christian faith, she had very distinct rules and regulations to follow which limited the paths available to her and the knowledge she would have been encouraged to seek out. As she stumbled over ankle-high shrubs, wiping the sweat from her brow, Mary reflected on how she had never once thought to question and how, if she had, her parents would have quickly redirected her back to the path they intended her to follow. </p><p>Squeezing Lilith’s hand with a soft sigh, Mary began to wonder where her life would have taken her had she not been so focused on being “good” as defined by a handful of men from a book written by the same. Sinking into the soft earth, Mary’s foot caught a large rock and she tripped. Saved by Lilith, she paused for a moment to look deep into the familiar eyes who steadied her and she allowed herself to feel the wash of emotions take over as she saw in Lilith a kindred spirit who had also been lied to her entire existence.</p><p>“Just a little further…” She allowed herself to be pulled along, her feet feeling heavy with the weight of her newfound understanding and the guilt she felt for not questioning what she had been led to believe for so long. </p><p>Mary gasped as a cave suddenly appeared and Lilith sprinted on ahead. Deciding to put her existential crisis on hold in favour of living in the moment, Mary smiled at Lilith’s exuberance and followed her inside. Her love of history buzzing through her like electrical currents as she saw how simply Lilith had lived and yet, how all of her needs had been met; “How long did you live here?”</p><p>“I’m not sure. I lived here long enough to remember what it felt like to truly be alone - the only being on Earth. That’s how it felt, at least. Eventually, I grew hungry and learned to hunt based on instinct. I spent my time catering to the basic needs that arose within me. When Lucifer Morningstar fell from the sky, I felt a stirring in my loins and because I had acted on every other impulse without any negative consequences, I treated this one as if it were merely hunger. Little did I know how starved Lucifer would leave me.” Mary could hear Lilith’s acknowledgement of that mistake in the way her tone of voice dropped and she watched her walk back to the entrance of the cave before turning to follow her. </p><p>Mary stepped up next to Lilith as she motioned out at the land before them, “Here you are - the Garden of Eden, a desert wasteland with a smattering of date palm trees here and there.” </p><p>“It’s beautiful.” Mary breathed and she walked closer to the edge of the cliff cradling the cave, surveying the World as it had been when it began. She took a moment to breathe in air that had never felt fresher, take in the sun that had never been brighter, and taste the air that was so still and heavy Mary felt like she could reach out and swallow it. In that moment it felt like anything was possible and Mary began to reimagine herself, her mind wandering to Lilith as her only point of contact and connection. Earlier today she had succumbed to her grief and had thought the solution was to kill her captor but now, she felt entirely different. Feeling the heat bend her to its will, she felt supple and pliant, her mind yielding to ideas she’d never felt brave enough to think - ideas she’d been told were forbidden and unholy. </p><p>Leaning into those ideas, eager to experience what could happen if she took a risk, Mary turned to face Lilith, “Lilith, I think that you and I -...” </p><p>Surprisingly, Mary welcomed the sensation of falling. She’d already died once, she felt fairly confident in what would happen next and equally confident that Lilith might be able to do something about it. Her arms cartwheeled in the air but she felt no fear, merely acceptance; she was surprised, however, to find herself on top of Lilith one second later. Realizing she’d fully expected the demoness to let her fall to her death in the Garden of Eden, a graceful ending for the religious historian-wannabe. Blinking as she looked down at Lilith, breathless, “You saved me!” </p><p>“You don’t think I would bring you back from Limbo only to kill you again, do you? I… I ache for your sunshine, Mary...” Mary leaned slightly into Lilith’s touch as she chased a strand of auburn hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. “...I’m filled with such darkness-”</p><p>“No.” Mary interrupted as she looked down at Lilith with tenderness. The truth of her feelings brought clarity as she realized Lilith wanted her and that in exploring the new opportunity she’d been given, she could be instrumental in also bringing someone else happiness and comfort. Someone who intrigued and excited her, who was beautiful and unexpected, who was both inexplicable and entirely understood at the same time; and in doing so, she would also find a happiness she never knew was possible.</p><p>“You are full of Wonder.” Mary threw away all sense of tradition and convention, living in the purity of her impulses as they pulled her down by her heartstrings and placed her lips on Lilith’s. As their lips met, Mary marveled at the soft yield of Lilith’s mouth and she felt the mirrored beating of her heart humming against her chest. Breathing into the kiss, Mary felt her entire body relax as if her soul recognized its place. </p><p>For Mary it felt just like a fairytale - true love’s kiss.</p><h3>To Be Continued....</h3>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Some sweet sweet love just in time for Valentine's Day!<br/>xoxoxo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 11: In Another Dimension</h3><p>Mary felt like a schoolgirl with a crush; ever since they’d returned to the cottage, she stole glances at Lilith at every opportunity, she felt her breath catch and cheeks burn every time she walked in the room, and when they were near she ached to reach out and interlace their fingers. She may have made the first move but now her stomach was in knots, unsure of how to take her feelings any farther, confused about whether she wanted to. Mary had been thinking of one of the last things Diana had said to her in Limbo: <em>You will have to accept that you are dead and the life you had is over. Only then will you be able to move towards the life you now lead.</em></p><p>As limited as she was on this extra plane of existence, unable to leave for fear of being found by the Dark Lord, Mary realized that she was freer than she’s ever been. In death, she could discover life. This was the after life, this was her Heaven, the opportunity to make different choices and experience something else. No one had taken the chances Lilith took in pulling Mary from Limbo and creating dimension for her to exist upon with the intention of keeping her safe. <em>How romantic.</em>    </p><p>Busying herself in the kitchen, making their after dinner tea, Mary felt Lilith’s hand on the small of her back as the witch moved passed her to get the milk from the fridge. Her touch lingered then slid off as she placed the milk carton on the counter and moved to get a small serving pitcher to place it in. Mary’s palms pressed against the counter as she both fought to breathe and chided herself for acting so powerless. Turning to press her back against the counter, Mary reached out and grabbed Lilith as she was passing by, stopping her.</p><p>“Yes, Mary?” Lilith’s brow arched, sending a pang of uncertainty through Mary.</p><p>“Uhh…” Mary’s hands dropped to her sides and she picked at an errant thread on her skirt nervously. “Do you want some cookies with your tea?”</p><p>“You’re out of cookies but I did attempt to make a coffee cake out of boredom when you were recovering from Limbo and plotting to kill me…” Lilith grinned and spun away to the living room. “...it’s under some plastic wrap in the cupboard.”  </p><p>Watching Lilith’s sway as she walked away, Mary released her breath and rolled her eyes at herself, turning to find the coffee cake. Yanking the plastic off of it she watched as it collapsed upon itself, with a frown Mary stuck a fork in it and took a tentative bite. Gagging, Mary released her bite back on top of the cake and turned to see Lilith laughing, her head thrown back in glee.</p><p>“It seems like you mistook the salt for the sugar...and maybe left out the eggs?” Mary opened the trash and swept the entire thing, plate and all, into it before taking a large gulp of water and spitting it back into the sink to get rid of the salt on her tongue.</p><p>Lilith shrugged, “I said I attempted to make coffee cake, I never said you should attempt to eat it. I eat for show only - I have no idea how to bake or cook for that matter.”  </p><p>Mary had to smile at that, the idea of Lilith attempting to bake charmed her as much as the end product revolted her. Sauntering into the living room, she handed Lilith her cup of tea and sat down with hers. Shifting to face Lilith on the small settee, Mary was keenly aware of their knees touching, and she took a sip before speaking; “Thank you for taking me to Eden. That was very generous of you, it’s been a place I’ve always wanted to see.”</p><p>Lilith nodded silently, pouring some milk into her black tea before responding, “I thought it might help you understand a bit more about me….” Lilith frowned, “...honestly it was a bit of an eye opener for me as well.”</p><p>Mary reached out bravely and placed a hand on Lilith’s knee, “What happened to you was horrible. You barely had a chance at life before you were thrust into a role you didn’t deserve. They made an example out of you but you didn’t do anything worth being made an example of. You had free will, a mind of your own, and disagreed with the path offered to you. That was no reason to turn you towards evil.” </p><p>“I’m not sure I believe in good and evil. Yes, I was made out to be -evil- and that is how most people perceive the idea of me….but if evil is synonymous with wrong, then I don’t accept that I am evil. I am not wrong. I do prefer to go against the grain, to be my own witch...my own woman...and most of my desires are naturally abnormal but against whose standards? Who has created the norm I am being compared to and why are they the experts?” Lilith shook her head and rested her hand on Mary’s, “I didn’t realize until I saw what happened between Eve and the snake, just how intentional the oppression was and how deeply it ran. My oppression, that is.”</p><p>Unconsciously, Mary pulled Lilith’s hand to her lips and kissed it softly in response to the witch’s pain. The sweetness of the motion gave Lilith pause and she reached out to cup Mary’s chin, tilting her head to look at her almost as if she were a specimen; “You really are full of heart, aren’t you? Do you feel sorry for me?”</p><p>Feeling caught in a dangerous net, Mary became very still, her breathing shallow, as she froze in place. Her tongue peeked out between pink lips to wet them before she spoke, “No Lilith, I don’t feel sorry for you. You don’t need pity, you need vengeance.” </p><p>Mary watched Lilith’s eyes flash, flames burning within their icy blue depths; “You may have a point there but for now, I would like to enjoy the spoils of the mundane for a little while. Will you indulge me?”</p><p>Following those flames as they fizzled within Lilith’s eyes and feeling her grip release, Mary relaxed and dipped her chin down coyly, looking up through her lashes at the other worldly being before her, “Of course, it would be an absolute pleasure to….spoil….you.” </p><p>As Lilith settled beside her with tea, Mary reflected on the power her mere presence exuded and understood exactly why Adam had fought so hard to try to bend her to his will - she was intimidating, exciting, and unpredictable. Like a fire itself, she could be tamed but for how long? Mary sensed there were always embers burning, ready to spark and flare at any moment and it made her feel alive, just to be near her. </p><p>With a soft grin, Mary cocked her head, “I have to ask though...how does one spoil the first Being to ever exist?”</p><p>Lilith laughed softly and the sound was both familiar, as it was Mary’s voice, but also unnervingly foreign. Just as quickly as the sound reverberated from her, it was silenced and Mary watched as Lilith’s face fell and her brows furrowed. The silence that followed was heavy with truths unsaid and Mary ached to find the words needed to bring back the sound of Lilith’s laughter. Moving to put another log on the fire, she knelt in front of it and poked at the coals, giving Lilith some space and hoping it would inspire her to share her thoughts.</p><p>“I’ve only ever wanted one thing - I thought it was my own Kingdom and to become the Queen of Hell. I thought I would have been happy ruling alongside Lucifer but he has made it clear that will never happen as long as he sits on the throne so in order to take the crown, I would have to defeat him. Our time in Eden has made me realize that I wanted a Kingdom for the power and status it would afford me. I want to be respected. I want to be in control of my own destiny, my own fate. Hell represented freedom for me because, instead of free floating through my existence with no purpose other than the one given to me by Lucifer, I would have complete control.” Lilith was silent for so long that Mary turned around to look at her, the heat of the fire propelling her forward to sit almost at Lilith’s feet.</p><p>Lilith looked down at Mary, “What if my purpose could be far simpler? I have never experienced kindness; a meal cooked for me, a bath drawn, a moonlit walk hand in hand, flowers given. I have never been cared for.” The significance of these realizations shook the demoness, her tea cup rattling against the saucer until she put it on the coffee table and folded her hands in her lap. “While you were in Limbo, I saw your memories Mary. I was able to experience bits and pieces of your life as an observer. I was charmed and….jealous.”</p><p>“Jealous?” Mary couldn’t help herself, the idea of this creature - a near deity - being jealous of her simple little life was difficult to accept.</p><p>“Jealous. I want to enjoy existing in this world and experiencing what it has to offer me without spending my days being condemned to create chaos, unleash demons, and drag unwilling souls to Hell.” Lilith slid down off the couch to be closer to Mary, leaning in and gripping her thighs to emphasize her words, “I want to be able to look at a bird and remark on how beautiful its feathers are just before watching it use them to fly away, Mary.”    </p><p>Feeling Lilith’s fingertips digging into her thighs with the intensity of her gaze, Mary fought against swooning and shifted to anchor herself more firmly on the spot. The mortal felt both comfortable and entirely out of her element with Lilith, the near-celestial inhabiting another form of her physicality. When she covered Lilith’s hands with hers, it was both like holding her own hand and trying to hang on to a shooting star. </p><p>Swallowing, she squeezed Lilith’s hands and cleared her throat, “Do we have birds here, Lilith?” Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she tentatively and playfully made light of Lilith’s confession.</p><p>With a smile that brought the milky way to her eyes, Lilith pulled back and cupped her hands together, pursing her lips and blowing gently between them. When she opened them, a tiny goldfinch hopped off her palm and onto Mary’s lap, shaking itself violently before stretching its wings and taking flight around the room as the brunette gasped in awe. </p><p>“We can have whatever we want, Mary.” Lilith watched as the bird flew around the room jubilantly before settling on what used to be Stolas’ perch.</p><p>“I don’t even know what to want. I’m not sure what I’m allowed to have. What is it that death can afford me?” Mary’s eyes moved from the bird, to Lilith, and back to the bird again, muttering softly, “I’m beginning to think I’ve already been given the greatest gift.” </p><p>Smiling at the generosity of Mary’s words, Lilith clapped her hands and the room fell into darkness as she began an ancient Hebrew incantation. Mary gasped as she watched light pour from Lilith’s fingertips onto the floor, a glowing waterfall. Then Lilith tossed her hand outwards and the light threw itself across the room to land in a masterpiece of dazzling constellations along the wall, twinkling like the night sky. Mary stared, her mouth agape, as an entire universe danced across her wallpaper as if it were projected on a screen.</p><p>“I could give you the world Mary.” Lilith’s tone was matter-of-fact but the words themselves echoed too closely with what Adam had said and it made her blood run cold and her stomach churn. </p><p>Mary quickly got to her feet, “I’d like to go to bed. I can take a turn on the couch if you’d like?”</p><p>Mary could tell Lilith was perplexed at her sudden change in mood but she was too busy processing her own emotions to deal with managing the witch’s. Suddenly the galaxy on the wall disappeared and the table lamps flickered back on. Lilith slowly rose to her feet and turned to face Mary, “Is everything all right, Mary?”</p><p>“Yes, yes, it’s fine. Please take the bed, I won’t be able to sleep thinking of you out here on the hard couch.” Mary went to move passed Lilith on her way to the bedroom to get her things when Lilith reached out to stop her.</p><p>Her voice was intoxicating, “Why don’t we share the bed then?”</p><p>Mary opened her mouth to protest but couldn’t find the words, swallowing she met Lilith’s gaze and suddenly, it was like Adam had never existed. She felt herself nodding even as her cheeks burned and she muttered her ‘excuse me’ as she hurried into the bathroom and shut the door. Alone, Mary leaned against the wall, chest heaving with the intensity of the exchange. Pulling her flannel nightgown off the hook on the back of the door, Mary slowly undressed and slid the fabric over her head, buttoning it up all the way to her chin. Staring at herself as she brushed her teeth, the knowledge that Lilith would be sleeping next to her making her almost nauseous with excitement.</p><p>Padding quietly into the bedroom, Mary saw Lilith was already under the covers. Avoiding her gaze, the mortal woman pulled back her side of the comforter and slid into bed, “Umm… well….goodnight then.”</p><p>“Just a minute, that can’t be comfortable…” Lilith sat up, the blanket falling to reveal bare breasts as she reached up to pull the pins from Mary’s hair, her fingers sinking deeply into the chestnut curls and shaking them out around Mary’s shoulders. “...there, that’s better isn’t it?”</p><p>Mary trembled, frozen in place as she fought to speak, “Yes, thank you. Would you like to borrow a nightgown? I have a few options in the top drawer of the dresser.”</p><p>Lilith’s grin was as hungry as that of a predator hunting prey, “I prefer to be naked when I sleep.”</p><p>Reaching over to turn off her lamp, Mary paused as her parents' stoic expressions seemed to glare at her from their photograph. Grabbing the framed picture of her parents, Mary shoved it deep into the bedside table drawer before turning off the light and positioning herself as close to the edge as possible, “Goodnight Lilith.”</p><p>“Sweet dreams Mary...” Mary fell asleep to the sound of Lilith’s smile.</p>
<h3>To Be Continued...</h3>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm going to let you decide on when Lilith makes her (sexy) move on Mary...</p><p>a) in the middle of the night<br/>b) wake Mary up in the morning</p><p>Leave a comment with your vote!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so sorry it's taken me an entire month to update this - I'm pretty burnt out and unmotivated. I wrote thousands of words almost daily for seven months...having such a hard time finishing this story just shows me that maybe the magic's gone. </p><p>Hopefully not forever!</p><p>Thank you so much, every single one of you for leaving comments and encouraging me here and on Insta. It's been quite the journey back to my passion for writing. xo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <h3>Chapter 12: A Homecoming and an Adventure</h3><p>Mary’s dreams were full of hulking Soul Eaters, vengeful angels, and hissing snakes. A shimmering doorway loomed ahead of her but when she ran towards it, it only seemed to move backwards. Transcension was just within her reach but also firmly outside of her grasp. Confused, Mary spun around looking for answers, and was met with a mirror. Staring at her own image, Mary’s eyes widened as the mouth opened and called her name.</p><p>“Mary….” Lilith reached out and brushed her fingers against Mary’s cheek. “...Mary you’re dreaming, wake up.” </p><p>Mary groaned, heavy with her dreams, and turned away from Lilith, shoving her ass into the crook of Lilith’s lap and curling her hands under her chin. Teetering on the edge of sleep, not fully present in any world, floating on the willow-wisps of her imagination and anxiety. The mirror was gone but the Soul Eater was back and Mary curled up tighter against Lilith, whimpering, trying to get away from her memories of Limbo. Her features screwed up in a deep frown, her fingers clutching at each other in fear.</p><p>The cool air moving along her collarbone finally roused Mary enough to open her eyes and squint into the darkness at Lilith looking down at her, slowly unbuttoning her flannel nightgown. Gasping softly, Mary reached up to grab Lilith’s hand and still its movement; “What are you-”</p><p>“Mary, outside of these walls is not just oblivion, it’s a danger worse than death itself. We have nothing but this - what contains us keeps us free. Within the freedom of our boundaries, all we have is each other. I brought you back to have the experience of you, likely a joy I’ve never experienced before. Are you willing to explore the unknown with me?” Mary relaxed as she looked deep into Lilith’s blues eyes.</p><p>Swallowing, Mary whispered, “I’m scared.”</p><p>“Don’t be. Don’t I….” Lilith motioned to the face and body that mirrored Mary’s exactly, “...know you better than any ever has?”</p><p>Mary snorted softly, “That in itself makes this even more….strange.”</p><p>Lilith leaned forward, her hot breath against Mary’s ear caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand on end and the shiver it initiated shuddered through her entire body, “Then close your eyes.”</p><p>Mary closed her eyes and reached out to sink her hand into Lilith’s thick mane, curling her fingers around the demoness’ neck and pulling her mouth from ear to lips for a kiss that sent stars exploding behind her eyelids. Her breath stolen, blood rushing through her veins, heart pounding, Mary swooned. As she attempted to recover from the kiss, Lilith moved on to press her warm mouth against the curve of Mary’s neck, the ridge of her collarbone, and against each revealed piece of skin as she unbuttoned the flannel gown slowly, one button at a time.</p><p>As the flannel gown fell open and goosebumps sprinkled across her flesh, nipples hardening, Mary felt both on fire and frozen. Lilith’s mouth made her quake, causing a swell of emotion to bubble within her and she closed her eyes against the tears that welled within them. This is what she’d been missing - the razor’s edge; Lilith was both intriguingly dangerous and comfortingly familiar. There were no pressures or expectations from third parties; no parents or religious institutions pushing marriage, the purity of the moment couldn’t be spoiled by Mary’s anxiety over whether it was the proper fit. She had no one to impress or satisfy, this moment was just hers.     </p><p>Lilith’s teeth dragged across the skin on her hip, making Mary shudder and twist away from the brunette with a soft moan of protest. She felt the demoness grin against her skin as she gripped her firmly, holding her in place. The loss of control and the surrender she allowed herself to offer freed Mary and she began to soar as Lilith’s lips grazed over her hip bone and lowered into the crease of her thigh. Moaning, desperate for connection, Mary buried her hands in Lilith’s hair and pulled her to the apex of her thighs, gasping sharply as the heat of Lilith’s mouth matched the heat at her core. Mary struggled to process what Lilith’s tongue was doing to her just as much as she struggled to process her feelings about it, until finally she emptied her mind and gave into the sensations lifting her up towards oblivion. </p><p>Nearly lifting off the bed from pleasure, Mary realized she’d never had an orgasm before; she’d assumed that sex was simply over when the male partner was finished. But Lilith kept going until Mary felt like her heart would explode and she wriggled out from under the witch woman’s wicked mouth, gasping for breath; “Please….that’s enough….” </p><p>Lilith chuckled, licking the corner of her mouth as she dug her elbows into the mattress and rested her chin on her hands, “I suppose….for now.” Mary fell into those devilish sapphire eyes in wonder and reached out for Lilith, exhausted. Lilith pulled her into a warm embrace and Mary immediately lost consciousness, falling into the deepest sleep she’d ever had.</p>
<h3></h3><p>The sun warmed Lilith’s face as she curled her arms around the empty air, vaguely aware that Mary had left the space between them. With a groan, frowning against the morning light, Lilith began to turn away and felt the sharp prick of nails digging into her thighs, holding her still. Lifting her head up, blinking her eyes open and staring down her naked form to meet the shy smile and wicked gaze of her lover perched between her legs.</p><p>“Good morning…” Mary whispered softly.</p><p>“Mmmmorning.” Lilith grinned and let herself fall back onto the pillows, her knees falling open to welcome her predator forth.  </p><p>Lilith gasped as Mary kissed the soft flesh of her inner thigh and sank her teeth lightly into it. Growling softly, Lilith reached down to grab a fist full of Mary’s hair, pulling her harder against her thigh as if encouraging her to bite harder. Mary took the bait and Lilith’s back arched sharply as her hips bucked upwards. When Mary released her, Lilith almost whimpered.</p><p>“Turn over.” Mary’s command was soft but with little room for protest. Lilith arched a brow but did as she said, turning onto her belly and resting her head on her arms, thick chestnut curls cascading down over the pillows.</p><p>Lilith smiled as she felt Mary’s full weight against her, laying on top of her, lips to neck. Trying to see over her shoulder, the demoness reached behind her and tugged at Mary’s nightgown, “This would be so much sweeter if I could feel you against me, Mary.”</p><p>The sudden -whoosh- of air across her back signaled her demands being met and as Mary eased herself down to press skin to skin, Lilith felt a familiar stirring in her belly. It was the same intense gut-wrenching that she’d felt experiencing Mary’s memories. A sweet ache, pulsating through her, looking for a release. It was both a homecoming and an adventure. She moved her body beneath the mortal’s, undulating her hips back against Mary as the virgin explored the witch’s flesh-territory with curious fingers and moist lips. A slow drag of nails against the back of her knees had her shifting them wider, inviting the finger-trail between her legs, and lifting her hips to welcome them at the apex of her thighs.</p><p>“Please Mary…” Lilith was breathless, the ache leaving her shaking. Mary’s fingers slid easily and Lilith lifted onto her knees, driving her hips back against Mary’s hand, grinding. She bit into the pillow to muffle the volume of the groans trying to break free as she bucked and rocked against Mary’s hand, fingers curling within her to all of those hidden nooks that drove her further towards ecstasy. </p><p>Lilith wanted to enjoy the moment for longer than her body would allow and with a sharp cry, she fell back into the bed, gasping with her release; “Satan sake, Mary….”</p><p>Mary dropped a kiss between Lilith’s shoulder blades and slid onto the bed alongside her, “You taught me a thing or two last night…has the student become the master?” </p><p>Lilith turned onto her side, her chest rising as her nostrils flared, “I wouldn’t go that far, precious pet.” </p><p>Reaching out, Lilith just missed Mary as she spun out of the bed with a grin, “I’m going to make us some breakfast, you stay right there.” Shaking her head, still quaking, Lilith leaned back against the pillows and allowed herself to doze in the sunlight.</p>
<h3></h3><p>Walking naked into the kitchen for the first time in her life, Mary felt unburdened, renewed, and reborn in death. Instead of erasing her, snuffing out her life, death had given her much more than life had ever offered. Grabbing eggs from the fridge, she remarked that she was freer and more sure of herself than she’d ever been before. She was comfortably walking about naked - the significance of that was not lost on her. Closing the fridge, she looked around at the kitchen, through the doorway towards the livingroom and beyond - her fingers unfurled and the eggs fell from her hands, landing in a messy heap on the floor.</p><p>Stepping over the mess, Mary sauntered purposefully back into the bedroom and grabbed Lilith’s hands, forcing her to sit up; “I don’t want this life anymore Lilith. I’m dead, aren’t I? Those eggs, that kitchen….this cottage….none of it matters. None of it exists, really. I don’t want to stay here with you, reminders of my past life mocking me from every corner. This isn’t me anymore. For better or worse, you’ve changed me….you’ve brought me back from the dead to the realization that I was never really living in the first place.”</p><p>Lilith’s lips parted, ready to respond to Mary’s passionate plea but the woman silenced her with a finger against them; “I want to start again. I want to live this next life from the very beginning. I want to know exactly who I would become without the boundaries that were placed on me in this last life. Just like you, my fate was written from the moment I was born and I have been crashing through walls ever since. I don’t want to just exist. I want to live.”</p><p>Mary gazed deeply into the familiar azure of Lilith’s eyes and gripped her hands tightly, “Take me back to Eden.”</p><p>Again Lilith opened her mouth, unsure if she was going to deny her Mary quickly leaned forward and pressed her lips against the First Woman’s, kissing her deeply. When she pulled back she released Lilith’s hands and held her face instead, the depth and meaning of her worlds shaking them both; </p><p>“Let’s rewrite your history, Lilith.”</p>
<h3>The End......for now?</h3>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I wanted to end it like this because I can add to this story - I can create a whole new world for them. </p><p>But I also wanted to end it without knowing Lilith's answer because you, dear reader, can assume that Lilith says no...she wants to be the Queen of Hell and she wants Mary to come to Hell with her (instead of Eden) which, if that's the path you want you can head over to "Hers in Hell" and read more of what happens to Marith over there. It's sexy. Very sexy. You might just want to head over there. ;)</p><p>Again, thank you thank you thank you. Much love.<br/>Ciao for now.<br/>xo</p>
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